What It Means To Be Badass

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This is a podcast episode titled, What It Means To Be Badass. The summary for this episode is: <p>In this episode of The Badass Women's Council, Rebecca discusses what it means to be badass. Today, she takes us through a few things to help us through the holiday weeks and what we should keep in mind as we enter the new year, such as who we want to be in 2022. Listen now!</p>
What it means to be badass
04:24 MIN
Who do I want to be in 2022?
03:09 MIN
2022 Badass Breakthroughs
01:14 MIN

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: This is Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, host of the Badass Women's Council Podcast. And I'm super glad that you're here. We provide reflection and connection for the high achieving woman. So obviously the podcast episode you're listening to by yourself. So the connection you can find at badasswomen'scouncil. community, come on in and join us. All right, here we go. Hello, this is Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, host of the Badass Women's Council Podcast. Happy new year, y'all. This is the most wonderful time of the year. You know here at the Badass Women's Council, we're all about reflection and connection. And this is reflection season. This is when we're done with the shopping, and the wrapping, and all of the frenetic pace, and the planning and the using just that 5% of our brain where we are thinking, and plotting and planning. And now we get to reflect and move into more of that subconscious part of our brain, where we're just feeling things and thinking about out what we want and don't want in the year ahead. And it's an important time of the year. But as you go into the season of planning, and thinking and wondering about the new year, I want to cover a couple of things today that I think will help you through this week. Two things. One, I want to talk about what it means to be badass, because if you're choosing to listen to the Badass Women's Council Podcast, you must in some way resonate with the term, so I want to define it a little bit today. And the second thing I want to cover is how reflection and connection are a key part of being badass. So I hope this episode will provide you some guidance as you polish off the last of the eggnog and the tub of cookies and start to look into the new year. All can be done in your jammies, no showers required. This is the best part of the week, right? Okay. So let's start with a definition of the term badass. This has been on my mind, honestly, for more than four years, since I originally started the Badass Women's Council with a group of seven women here in Indianapolis. I have journals, entire journals dedicated to lists, and ideas and definitions looking for the one that really would resonate with me for this big, bold, beautiful word badass. So first, let's talk about the spelling. No, really, let's lean in. Let's have a little education session about the word badass. Y'all, it's one word. When you spell badass as two words, that's not a compliment. That's indicative of, I don't know, you don't look good in your jeans, and that's nothing that I'm interested in when it comes to defining badass. And it's just, you know those little weird pet peeve things that make no sense to anybody else, but you would just literally die on the sword for it? Well, this is one for me. So one word, preferably capitalized, badass. Okay, so we're good there. So now let's talk about the definition. I spent some time with the Google and what they had to say. And some of the definitions are kind of icky. Some are just nothing about what we represent here. But what I did is I just started writing down some of the words and other definitions, and I then worked to curate and then simplify, which is some of my favorite things to do. And quite frankly, one of my unique gifts and talents is to do this for my clients and my work, is curate it and simplify it into a definition that absolutely speaks to my heart. Not just speaks to my heart, but speaks to my desire for my clients and what I'm looking for to help them feel and be badass. Okay, you ready? Badass is to be slightly intimidating because of your unique skills and excellence. To be impressive. A badass knows who they are. They are intensely self- aware. Now think about that for a minute. You know that woman that walks in a room with her head held high, her shoulders back, but she's got a smile on her face. She's got this glow of her inner knowing that just lights up a room. It spreads over her face and out into the room. So that's part one of the definition, to be intensely self- aware that you can walk and talk confidently. And she's bold and confident, but not in that independent bully kind of way. Not in that I don't care about anyone but myself kind of way. If you don't like me, that's just too bad for you. Not that. Not that at all. I think that kind of woman confidence is toxic. And honestly, I think it's what's caused a lot of problems for women supporting women for too long. I think I've said this on the show before, I refused to do women's programming for a long time in my career because I had experienced some of that in my life and career. And no. No, no, no, no. That's not at all what we're talking about. What we're talking about is the kind of confidence where this badass woman says, I'm here. I'm confident. In fact, I'm so confident in myself that I'm able to be vulnerable. I'm able to come to serve you with my boldness and my confidence. I'm here to be connected. Thriving, not striving. To know how that uniqueness that she has serves others. And she's looking to serve others with her bold, unique gifts, talents that she's so confident in. When I say those words and when I have shared those words with a few people over the last month or so, it just brings me joy to see how people respond to that. It's like that, yeah, I'll have what she's having kind of moment when I see people respond to that definition. So I think it's worth telling the marbles and puzzles story again, because this is really the goal. So if you take a handful of marbles and you picture them in your hand, each one of them is perfect, round, shiny, largely all the same. Maybe a little different color or a little different size, but all the same. And you take that handful of marbles and you put it down on the table in front of you, what happens? Well, they all roll away, because perfection, and sameness and comparison doesn't stick together very well. However, if you take a handful of puzzle pieces, each of completely unique with their jaggedy ass edges and the dust from the bottom of the box, nothing perfect at all about that. And you take that handful of puzzle pieces and you put it on the table in front of you, and then you very intentionally look for the beautiful side. And then you look and see how each of those unique pieces are meant to fit together. There are three characteristics of a puzzle once it's put together. It's far more beautiful, it's far stronger and every piece matters. And so a badass woman looks at her unique, jaggedy ass edges and the dust from the bottom of the box and says, I know my beautiful side and I'm going to look for places where I can serve and connect with others. And the sense of value, relevance and impact that we get from knowing our unique piece of the puzzle is the definition of thriving. I teach a framework for the six things that your brain is looking forward to tell you if you're thriving and have a sense of wellbeing, and the ultimate in the top box, if you will, if you've seen some of my work, is value, relevance and impact, and that's what we're really looking for. So as you plan your reflection this season, one, my goodness, go buy a new, beautiful journal dedicated to this work and this chapter of your life. I mean, shoot, if you need to Amazon it and have it delivered, I don't want anybody getting dressed or showering if they don't need to, because this is the best week for that. But this is a great time to get a journal that is dedicated to this work. See it as a tool for the job. I like to keep my journal, and my pen and my Bible in my little work station of the tools for reflection that I use each day in a certain spot in my house so that I know that's where that work gets done. And I literally see it as a part of my life and my work, an integral part of my life and my work. Not something extra, not something I do when I'm caught up, but that is the work. All right. So the second thing as you play in this reflection season is truly reflect back on your life, back on 2021, and fall in love with your story a little bit. We often just jump ahead to the, what is next year going to look like? And I think you leave off the biggest part of what's important is to say, well, what was last year? Where was I valuable, relevant and impactful last year? I have an episode dedicated to reflecting on falling in love with your story, and I use the acronym love, what have you learned, what have you overcome, what have you verified and what draws on your emotions that can help you do that? In fact, I'll put a link to that one in the show notes for you. So maybe use that one before you get started planning next year. The third thing is instead of planning your tangible goals and to- dos first, instead of thinking about what you want to have, what you want to do, what do you want to accomplish, ask yourself, who do I want to be in 2022? This is a big distinction, because once you decide who you want to be and you work on those things, the having, and the doing and the achieving comes from a more authentic, genuine self, which means it comes with far more ease than striving. I would recommend that you listen or watch a talk that Lindsay Tjepkema, CEO of Casted, friend of the show, in fact, she has been on the last few episodes through December, she did a talk at our very first Stand Tall in Your Story event called Boldly be Yourself. And it's was about the letting go of everybody else's expectations and living from a place of her authentic self. And I think you'll find it really, really inspiring. Last year I used the one word idea, what's your word for the year? A lot of that'll be popping up here in the next few days on the socials. And last year I decided that I wanted to be, be, not have or do, I wanted to be unreasonably bold. And as I was finishing the book this past year, having that as my guiding sense of self really propelled me through a lot of head trash to finish the book. And so it was so impactful, I've decided to continue that phrase for 2022. And as I thought about that, I thought, the book's done, which was largely an isolated activity, and now it's time to launch that book into the world. It's time to get it from out of my head, into the hand hands of great editors and soon to be in your hands. So this is where the shit gets real. This is where I'm going to absolutely need to be unreasonably bold, because I'm going to ask you to buy it, I'm going to ask you to share it, I'm going to ask you to invite me to come and speak to your group or your company about it. I mean, why would I spend three years writing something if I don't want the world to experience it? So I'm going to need to come to you unreasonably bold to share, write your own story. And that guiding description of who I want to be can be used in the things I want to have and the things I want to do. I want to have double the podcast subscribers that I have now. I want to do 10 keynotes in the month of March for International Women's Month. I have tangible goals, but it needs to come from this place of who I want to be. So I'd like you to spend some time thinking about who you want to be next year. If you'd like some help with this reflection and connection for 2022, I have an all virtual experience, which is very similar to the Rise and Thrive experience that I've done the last three years, and it's called Badass Breakthroughs for 2022. And the name was very intentional, as most things that I do are, because the primary goal is for the participants to become intensely self- aware. And becoming intensely self- aware is hard to do on your own. But I want the women in this experience to know exactly who they are and to be excited to share that with the world. And I use the word breakthrough, again, very intentionally, because I want you to break through old patterns of behavior. I want you to rise up out of what I call the cultural norms and societal expectations that keep you striving and stuck. And I want you to break through to new ideas, new patterns. Move out of, a lot of us have that need to please and achieve pattern of behavior, and instead move into a pattern of creating the right opportunities for your unique self. Thriving, not striving. So it's not about climbing anybody else's ladder. I want you to write your own story. I want you to become an observer of yourself so you know what you want to change and why you want to change it. In fact, I was working with a client this morning and she's just started a new job, a new career, a new industry, new everything. And before she started, she started mid- December, we had a coaching session. And I said," look, you are going to have to become really intentional about not bringing old patterns and old habits into the new role." Because she wanted to have more flexibility. She wanted to continue to have great wellness. She'd had some time off before she started this new job, and she didn't want to go into the frenetic pace of striving again. And y'all, it's often not about your boss's expectations or the company culture, it's our own habits and behaviors that we bring into the job. And so it was already starting, she's only been in the job a few weeks. And she actually found a company that the culture is that you turn off your phones at 4: 30. You don't work on the weekends. I mean, it is literally the dream culture and the dream job. She's met everybody. She said they're fun, they like to work hard, they like to go out and play, and have drinks and enjoy each other's company. It's everything that she dreamed of in where she wanted to work. And you know what she's struggling with? Turning off her phone at 4: 30, because she still has that old pattern of success that says you got to work harder than everybody else. You got to be willing to put in the time. You got to be able to work on the weekends to make sure you don't fall behind. And I had a real heart to heart and kind of jerked a knot in her tail. And I said," girl, this is not what you wanted and it's not what the company is asking of you." And so breakthrough is breaking out of those old patterns. There's the saying that therapist use a lot that wherever you go, there you are. So you can leave your boss and your company thinking it will give you a new, peaceful life, but unless you change the old patterns of how you define success and how you define work, you're going to bring that with you into a new role or a new company. So 2022 Badass Breakthroughs is about discovering being intensely self aware of your patterns of thinking and behavior and deciding which of those might need some shifts. And because, as we say, no one thrives alone, not only is Badass Breakthroughs about one on one coaching with me, it's also an elite group of just 10 high achieving women like you that will go through this experience together. That is all virtual. We'll meet two times a month, once for a one- on- one session with me and once for a group session. And you'll get a beautiful journal to do those monthly, I'll provide the monthly reflection questions for you to observe you, to observe your emotions, your actions and your responses. And you'll have a chance each week to reflect back on how did that go and what might need some shifts and adjustments? I'm super excited about this group. I've got 7 of the 10 spots open. We're going to start late January. So if you're interested, let's talk and I'll share some more information. And I'll also put a link for you in the show notes. So grab your tub of cookies, your eggnog, whatever leftover ham you've got, snuggle in with a journal, snuggle in with your thoughts and start reflection season. I hope these little tips and thoughts are going to help you and provide you some support in this time. And I'd love to connect with you if there's anything I can do to serve you and help you. All right, y'all. Hey, in a couple days, I'm headed to my first vacation in a long time. Going to lay on the beach and do some of my own reflection time. So I can't wait to share what bubbles up in my stillness over that week on the beach. Thanks so much, y'all. Make it a great day. When I work with my clients, I want them to discover their unique, personal story, so they can then stand tall in that story and live a life full of soul, and emotions and their natural curiosity about their unique gifts, talents and abilities so they can live a thriving life, because our brains are hardwired for stories and our brain wants us to thrive. So I help my clients tap into that. And I also have a sponsor for this podcast called Storybook, which is a unique and innovative platform that helps you bring your company's stories to life by tapping into the emotional flow and the natural curiosity that we have about your products and services. So check them out. You can go to my website, wethrive. live, click on the Stand Tall in Your Story link and see the kind of work they're doing for us, or go to their site, cantaloupe. tv, and there's hundreds of stories there that they've created that you can experience. Check them out. We're so grateful to work with them and for them to sponsor the podcast. And please join the online community at badasswomenscouncil. community, where we can continue the conversation and you can meet other badass high achievers like you. Thanks so much, make it a great day. If you like the music for the podcast, go to iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to your music and look up Cameron Hession Clouds. You can download the full song there. He's got some other stuff out there as well. And yo, he's my son. Be great if you'd go and download some of his stuff.


In this episode of The Badass Women's Council, Rebecca discusses what it means to be badass. Today, she takes us through a few things to help us through the holiday weeks and what we should keep in mind as we enter the new year, such as who we want to be in 2022. Listen now!