Lyndie's Story: The Greatest Love of All

Speaker 1: (singing)

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: This is Write Your OWN Story: Three Keys to Rise and Thrive in Life and Business. I'm your host, Rebecca Fleetwood Hession. Did you know that sometimes you can be so passionate about your calling that you lose yourself in the deal? That was the experience with our guest today, which is Lyndie Metz, the founder of Acton Academy, which is a totally different way of doing school, and she'll talk about that on the interview today. She is a part of Rise and Thrive season four, and I'm giving you these interviews as gifts for my birthday month this month. And we're preparing for the greatest gift of all, which is a little play on the name of her talk that I'll tell you in a minute. The greatest gift of all is the experience I'm launching on May 1st, A Thousand Thriving Women for everybody in the US to jump in and get these Thrive tools and Thrive coaching share with everybody y'all. You're my best means of getting this into the hands and the hearts of the people that need it most. So link in the show notes and lots of info calls that you can jump into to learn more. So I said it was a little play on Lindy's talk. Her talk is called The Greatest Love of All, which is a play off of the great Whitney Houston hit, which I'm going to save you from singing any part of. So here we go with Lindy, she'll give you a little context about her experience with Rise and Thrive. And then at the end of the interview portion of the episode, you'll hear her talk that she gave live at the Vogue Theater on International Women's Day at the fourth annual Stand Tall in Your Story Event. Here we go. So I thought it would be good to just get the backstory and the context about why you jumped into this thing and was it what you thought it was going to be and all the things. So how did you even hear about it?

Lyndie Metz: I heard about Rise and Thrive when I was invited to season two because one of our families at Acton has a Rise and Thrive alum. And so I was invited to the event. I hadn't heard about it before that, but I was invited to the event and I attended and then I started asking some questions.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Was that Stephanie Ewing?

Lindy Metz: Yes, Stephanie Ewing. So I started asking Stephanie some questions right after when I had seen her and she was just raving about how helpful it had been for her and her journey. And so I kind of followed your work for the next year or so. Didn't really think the next year was the right time. We had expansion going on at work and different things in the family and stuff like that. So I kind of just followed, I was a fan for that year. And then when you were announcing season four that you were selecting for that, I was praying about what a next step would be for me in my personal life, but also in my business because I am an entrepreneur by accident.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Happens to the best of us.

Lindy Metz: I'm an educator first and in that world of education, with all of my background and experience, I saw a need in the world that didn't exist. And so God has used me to start my own business making education better in a couple of different ways. But the businesses that I started to make education better were pretty lonely. And so I desired a place where I could connect with other women that were also making decisions for companies, organizations, teams to see how they refill and rest and recharge to be the most impactful. And so that year I applied knowing it was something I wanted to do. I'm not the type of person who would take a chance and apply if it wasn't something I wanted to do

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: With a seven- month commitment that kind of filters out those that just want to jump in and do something little. This is a commitment. This is almost as long as it takes to make a baby. What's interesting you said that about lonely and entrepreneur and business and making decisions as a leader. And I was surprised when I started my business that I had forgotten to consider connection. So when I left my corporate job after nearly 20 years, the very last day of that job, I was like, " Oh crap. All of my closest business friends are all over the world and none of them are down the street." And so I thought I got to go find some friends as well as clients. And I hadn't thought about that before. And I think that's what happens to us as women so busy and focused on doing the right thing for our work that we do put ourselves to the side. And that's really why connection and building these kinds of community experiences has become so passionate of a thing for me, is because we need it, but we forget that we need it. So until I put something in front of you or something that where you were like, " Oh, wait, maybe I do need that." But what was funny was when I started thinking about connection as my business model and then you think about what's the marketing message that you would put out. If I put a message out that said, " Hey, you're probably lonely. I've got something for you." Women would be like, " Lonely. I got kids hanging off me. I got people around me all the time." There's a difference between being around people and connection that I don't think you understand until you've been more intentional about it.

Lindy Metz: And I was going to say that I am not an entrepreneur that is working from home. I am around people all the time. I am connected to a lot of people, but I'm not connected with a lot of them. Just because I'm leading them doesn't mean that I'm experiencing connection. And so for me, it might seem odd that someone that is around people so much desires connection, but it's a different type of connection.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Exactly why I brought that up. Because as a leader, that's not the right place oftentimes to process your vulnerabilities and your insecurities. That's a place to cast vision and give people safety and confidence. And you also need a place where you can be safe to say, " I just don't know about anything today or whatever." So I think being specific about the differences in being around people versus connection is important for people to consider. And maybe they're listening today going, " Huh, I think that might be me." I'm glad that we talked about this. I'm curious about something that we're going to dig into your experience in the Rise and Thrive experience, but when you were invited to the event on March 8th for Stephanie Ewing when she took the stage in season two, what was your expectation and what was your experience at the event itself? Because we've never talked about this and that's hard for me to get that from people. I'm curious.

Lindy Metz: Oh, it's probably a story you haven't heard from anybody that attends. So I'm glad you asked. Yeah, let's do it. I didn't know what this was. She had posted about it on social media. I was intrigued. I really wanted to support her too and cheer her on, but I had no idea what it was. And so what's funny is the cards are already stacked against me actually going because I didn't know anyone that was going, I didn't know what it was. I didn't know where it was. And then it started snowing.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: That's right. It did, not a little bit of snow either. And P. S. that year was the year that restrictions about gathering had kept us from doing it on the traditional date of March 8th. And so we had a mid- April date and it legit snowed.

Lindy Metz: Yeah. So I can't believe I made it to the event quite honestly. I don't really like going in where I'm the only person. I don't know where I'm going or who this is there. I don't like that.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Oh, that's funny.

Lindy Metz: I hate driving in the snow.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Especially not knowing where you're going or where you're going to park.

Lindy Metz: Not knowing where I was going. So I'm really surprised I made it. And when I got there, I still didn't know what I was doing. I was like, " What is this?" And maybe this is important for the audience, I didn't even fully embrace being there. I really could have made way more of that event even being there by myself.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Because of the uncertainty that was ringing in your head?

Lindy Metz: Uncertainty, it's still snowing. I live in Pendleton, like, " Now I got to get home." But I enjoyed the talks. I remember I sat down in the back by myself, I was like, " Should I have a drink? No, it's snowing. Like that's dumb. It's still snowing." And so I'm just sitting there by myself. And when you had points where people were talking to others, I was reading the program.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Interesting. Well, we have not talked about this, but divine intervention as it is, I created a section this past year and will continue to do so for those that are coming alone. So that you know you've got a place to sit, you're with other people that are in the same situation and you can meet new people.

Lindy Metz: And I love that God has given me to you and you asking about this story so that he can confirm.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah.

Lindy Metz: That that were-

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Seats were the ones that started filling up first when I put tickets on sale.

Lindy Metz: And I wasn't been out of shape about it. I mean, those are my choices. But I would say to everyone that's listening whenever, opportunities are what you make them, and if you want to just observe, that's okay. You can just observe. Maybe it will come back again. Maybe you'll reengage with this. Maybe it was just that one night when you didn't want to drive in the snow and you were celebrating somebody else. But I could have used it differently. I could have engaged differently. I'm an introvert, but I'm an extrovert introvert, so I'm not really shy. I will talk to people, but that night I chose not to. And I think that if I would've chosen to, even if I would've chosen to sit with people and listen to their takeaways, I would've walked away with something. Now the something I walked away with was pride for Stephanie Ewing. I was really proud of her, really proud of her because I had never seen her share and be vulnerable. And so I was really proud of her. I was really grateful that she invited me. And I left thinking, " Huh, if those people can drive in the snow and gather and be this excited about making the most of life, maybe I should."

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Love that. And I think it's interesting that you came for Stephanie's story because most people who knew Stephanie before they heard her story wouldn't have guessed that she would be talking about the insecurities of being a people pleaser and not feeling like she fit in. And because when you know her in a business setting or meet her at an event she's confident and easy to talk to and just looks and acts like she's got her shit together because she does. And yet like most of us has that inner voice sometimes that just is really loud. That is not that. And that I think resonated with so many people like, " Wow, you? Okay, interesting." I love this that we're talking about this because we literally have never had this conversation. And it speaks to the very first topic that we engage with in the Rise and Thrive experience is uncertainty. Because after you signed up, you still walk in the room the first day not knowing many or any of the women that you've chosen to spend seven months plus of your life with. What's that feeling of walking into that room?

Lindy Metz: It was kind of like, " What have I gotten myself into?" Because I'm not around seven women ever. I'm around young people quite a bit. I mean, I do bible studies and stuff like that, but it's different. It's different than showing up with working moms, leaders, people that are in your same career kind of lane. So I didn't know what to expect it. It wasn't scary though. I mean there are some unexpected things that there's fear inducing uncertainty. It wasn't like that. It was just, " Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to get into this work?" And I wish I could say that after I walked in and met everyone and really connected that it was easy from that point forward. But for me, the first few months were really hard work. It was a lot of internal work for someone that has been serving other people for so long to take the time and to look into some things I had ignored in myself.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I want to talk about two things that you just said. So one is even after you walked in saying, " Am I sure?" You still weren't completely sure. And that is the way it is. And that's so important of a message for everyone to hear because there's this thought that if it's for me, I'll be sure. And that's not always the case, rarely is it the case. There's this pull to certain things not just Rise and Thrive, but I think almost anything that is worthy in your life to be ready for the uncertainty that accompanies that and be willing to, as I call in the books, swim in that sea of uncertainty until you feel more confident. Not wait till you're confident before you jump in the sea of uncertainty.

Lindy Metz: Yes.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So you jumped in and said, "Well, I'm going to paddle around in here for a little bit, but I'm still not sure." So I think that's a really important message.

Lindy Metz: So Theodore Roosevelt wrote about the man in the arena, and if you don't ever put yourself out there, you'll never know.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: True.

Lindy Metz: So I was actually just talking to children about this and their question was, " Do you want to live life to the fullest or do you want to be prepared for everything?" And their explanations, they're 11, three 14 year olds, were all about, " You will miss every opportunity you don't take."

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And they're articulating this between 11 and 14 years old that they're able to articulate this. This is amazing. I love it.

Lindy Metz: A hundred percent. 100% talk about uncertainty and the fear that we can allow and the way that we let that fear control what we decide. So there's always uncertainty. There always will be. You can never be sure of anything until you do it.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Amen. And yet somewhere between that 11, 14 year old awareness and adulthood, something happens to flip the switch and let fear become the louder voice in our lives that I'm hopeful that these conversations will start to flip the script on... You and I could have a really deep conversation about how we think traditional education does that to people. But probably not for today's episode because you have created a very different educational experience with your schools because of the frustration that I know you and I both feel about traditional education, not giving us the humanity of life. It's more about achievement and can you memorize and can you get good grades, which doesn't prepare us for life. And I believe that not only does it not prepare us well for life, that it actually gives us a skewed sense that triggers many of those fears.

Lindy Metz: Yes, and yet that environment actually fits some people. So something I have to constantly explain or not really defend but just remind people of, is that I didn't start something because I thought everything was bad. I started it to give a new option. And so our option just pays more attention to psychological safety than other environments. I believe that learning things to do things later is important, but what's more important is being psychologically safe.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And I had a personal experience with my son, with challenges with attention deficit disorder where traditional education was not a safe place for him. And it was really dimming his light and taking out a lot of his passion and curiosity about himself in life. And so I am very much drawn to the educational model that you provide for people, but I also have the experience where my daughter went to traditional education and didn't necessarily serve her all that well either. But like I said, I'm going to let that go for today. The other part of what you said earlier, I said there was two things. The other thing that I really want to highlight today is, you do have a deep passion to serve others, both from an educational perspective with your students as well as families, community. You mentioned bible study, serving others actually became so much of your life that it starved out a little bit of serving yourself.

Lindy Metz: Yes. And when you said somewhere between 11 and 14, we know those things. And then somewhere after that, along the way, life kind of creeps in and plants fear. So for me, when I was younger, I've always wanted to teach others. I know that I have a gift to lead others, but as I took on new jobs or got promotions or moved around, I noticed that my influence was positive, but with that that came expectations. And so I started paying attention to the expectations that came with the influence. I've always had a heart to serve. I've always had a heart to give back. I've always had a heart... I've been on several mission trips. And when I went on those things, I was wrecked because I didn't realize how people with nothing could have more joy than all the people I was with all the time. And so each and every time, if I were to map out every service experience I've had in life, right after that, I came back with a renewed perspective of, simple peace and joy and love. Just simple peace, joy and love. And so it's funny because even though I'm in an industry where we serve families and help them find better solutions for their children, sometimes that can come with expectations that aren't meant to be put on me. And so a huge part of service is also letting people know that I'm human. I'm a human leading this nonprofit organization. So serving has been important. And I realize through this process that I've probably been more concerned with not getting it wrong in regards to other people than I have been concerned and not getting it wrong with me.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Which leads us to research that I shared at the event on March 8th and have since shared every episode of this podcast since, because-

Lindy Metz: inaudible?

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yes, our friend Herbert. From 1974 when I was eight and you probably weren't even on the planet yet.

Lindy Metz: No.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: But the first stage of burnout still today is a compulsive need to prove ourselves and it's an obsessive need to perform, achieve, or care. And knowing you now in a more specific way about this journey you've been on, that to me was the biggest pull for you is you care, like, " Oh my gosh, you care." And this first stage of burnout tends to affect the conscientious people. Duh. Hello, meet Lindy. Who show enthusiasm, hello, meet Lindy. And who accept responsibility, oh, hello, meet Lindy. And so that very first thing that gets us from a burnout perspective is the thing that is so beautiful about us. And unfortunately what happens is the belonging and connecting and serving and doing for others becomes so big and so profound in our life. It starves out that, " Oh yeah, in order to sustain that, I got to take care of me." And you are one of millions of women that have experienced this, myself included, or are just listening to this episode for the first time and going, " Oh crap, that's me." And my passion area is to bring awareness and solutions to this. And I was so thrilled that you chose to come into the experience, but honestly, when you first signed up, I thought, " Am I going to be able to teach her?" We have such similar views and interests about humanity. The whole business is human framework that I use. You're like, " Yeah, yeah." You get that. And what I didn't realize was that you had starved out a lot of your own voice and care for yourself until that first day. And I was like, " Oh, now I know why she's here. She needs a safe place to process this.

Lindy Metz: Right, right. Something that I wrote in my journal in one of my first stillness times after joining or our kickoff is, I can no longer meet the needs of others at the expense of meeting my own. Because I've been meeting the needs of others for a really long time.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And doing it really well.

Lindy Metz: But I have forgotten myself too.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And yet I think many people would hear you say that and go, " Me too." But to say that and sign up and write a check for a seven- month experience to really shift the patterns and make changes is a different level of commitment.

Lindy Metz: Yes.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Did you know that's why you were joining when you joined?

Lindy Metz: No.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Interesting.

Lindy Metz: I thought I was joining because there were things yet for me to learn about leading a business. But all along I've been leading the business really well. I haven't been leading myself well.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And I said this on a Karen Cook's interview as well, this is what makes marketing this program a colossal pain in the ass. Because people will sign up for something to serve the business more than they will sign up for something to serve themselves. And so I am happy to provide both because I also know that if your business isn't going well, it's hard for you to take care of yourself. You're going to jump in and take care of the business. And so the business is human framework that the business needs and the human needs are different and both are critical, I believe in wholeheartedly. Because if I were to market the true value, which is I'm going to give you every single month the space and the grace in the safe place for you to rekindle simple peace, joy, and love in a business setting, people be like, " Ah, I don't need that, or I'm not going to spend money on that." We don't have that draw to it until... I remember you in that first weekend having really emotional responses to things where it was bubbling up fairly quickly for you.

Lindy Metz: And I will also say that your treasure is where your heart is. And so when you do invest in yourself, and whether you get them there because they think they're improving their business. Or they really want to take time after hearing testimonies like this one to improve themselves, there is an investment there. This is not listening to podcast, checking out library books, watching YouTube, all the motivational speakers, all the sermons, all the things you can take in. There was a financial commitment and investment into this work. Therefore, I can't go on and live the same. You know what I mean?

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I love that.

Lindy Metz: The ROI.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah, you got to make it worth it.

Lindy Metz: Pass you away, right?

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah. I love that. And we know that investing in yourself to feel healed and whole and joy and all of the beautiful things about being personal, emotional, and social, makes you a better leader. And makes your business run better and gives you more discernment and gives you all the things you need to be what you need to be as a leader. So that's great.

Lindy Metz: But you also learn to have grace for yourself. There's nothing that feels forced anymore. Before this experience, I would intentionally sign up for fitness challenges, running challenges. I've tried a lot of things where I've intentionally disciplined myself through challenge only to get mad at myself if I'm messed up, right?

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah.

Lindy Metz: This is different. This work has been freeing work, not burdensome work. And when I got to the end of it when I was still, " We're meeting this week, can't wait." But at the end I see the grace that was unexpected for myself. And I think part of that has to do with my talk and the work that went into that. But I do think that this opportunity is the perspective that you have on this opportunity. So going into it and knowing that it is a very personal, but also flexible experience is important for somebody like me because I'm used to checklist, deadlines and being mad at myself if I miss something.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah. I wrote down freeing versus burdensome. That's a great description. And yet fuels a lot of uncertainty for people before they get into it because, and I said this on a Karen's interview as well, people will literally ask me for over the timed outline and how many assignments are going to be a part of this experience and thinking it's going to be burdensome. The very first question out of every woman's mouth is, " I don't think or..." No, the statement is, " I don't think I have time for this." And then the question is, " How much time will it require?" And when I try to explain that it is integrated into your life choices and not an additional homework assignment, it's hard to explain until you get into it. So I love that freeing versus burdensome. And many have said you feel lighter as a result of spending that time and having it to really reflect

Lindy Metz: Yes. But the world's still hard. The feelings that you have, the things that you're learning, the tools you're applying do make you feel lighter, but not in a Pollyanna way. Because there are still hard things in the world, but I can just better deal with those hard things.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I had a client say to me one day, just in her regular one- on- one coaching session then, " What's your number thing that we always do?" And to just check in with people and see how they are that day. " So what's your number?" She said, " A nine." " Great." She said, " But everything around me isn't a nine." She said that, " I'm finally at that place where I realized that everything around me is never going to be perfect. There's always going to be challenges and I can still be okay in the midst of it."

Lindy Metz: Awesome.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And that was one of my best days ever because I thought if I could help every woman on the planet feel that for even a few more days in their life, that change so much for so many. In fact, that's the reason, one of the many reasons that in addition to this work that I love so much with Rise and Thrive, which is a very big commitment with seven months with a small group of people. I'm now launching an experience called A Thousand Thriving Women to get these tools in the hands of more people faster because I just feel the urgency of the world is so profound that if we don't get these tools in the hands of more people, we're just going to continue to be buried under burnout and I can't let that happen. What about the experience with the other women? Because that is an interesting dynamic. I'm like you, I'm still laughing that God put me in a program for all women. I was raised with all boys on a small farm in southeast Indiana who were my uncles, inaudible of my brothers, only child, put doll clothes on cats and dogs because I didn't actually have dolls. And I went squirrel hunting. I was not a traditional girl. And so this just cracks me up. And I didn't spend a lot of time with women. I had guy roommates growing up. I wasn't a girly girl or a girl... And so it's funny to me that this is the work that I would not change in a million years, but to say, " Oh, I'm going to go spend every month with seven women." I don't know if I would've done this had I seen it early in my career. And I heard you say that. And I was like, " Okay. So what was it like once you got in there with them?"

Lindy Metz: The very first exercise we did with the flowers.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So in the beginning I have just a bunch of beautiful loose flowers laying on a table and everybody gets a vase. And I say, " You get to choose what flourishing looks like for you and what thriving looks like for you. So build your own bouquet." And so it's interesting just to see how different those look once those are built in. The metaphor is this is not a cookie cutter approach that thriving is a very individual unique experience for everybody. So that's the context.

Lindy Metz: Thank you for that. The very first activity we did... So again, there's still this uncertainty walking through them with people you don't know. It's about to happen. You just have to go in. And that activity was very helpful to go ahead and build connection. You could see right away that we all work there for the same reasons. Even though we all have different walks, different jobs that we're in, different companies you work with or work for, we all work there for the same reason. And so it was nice to be able to connect emotionally with people soon. That's not typically something that I do. I don't cry. I barely think that I don't do that I have done in the past seven months. But it was nice to know that we were, you felt immediately safe. Your story felt immediately safe. And that is really important.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I added that exercise in. I learn a lot every single year from all of you as well. And so every year, while the fundamentals are the same, the experiences a little bit different in it's catered to the group. Because every season has a different personality and vibe as you can imagine, because we're all different humans. And I was really excited about how that went because I feel like just having your hands busy and doing something, you're not just sitting there looking to a speaker to give you all the answers, but you're just doing stuff. And I think that is so helpful when you're feeling uncomfortable anyway, is to give somebody a job and make them... Keep them busy because that's what we're used to doing is just staying busy. So I was like, "Hmm, I can meet them where they are and busy them up a little bit."

Lindy Metz: That's brilliant.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So now what's interesting to people who haven't been through this experience, when I say really the event on March 8th is when we press go in our lives. The seven months is about unwinding old patterns, discovering what new patterns you need, implementing daily stillness, trusting your inner thrive guide and all of those tools and things that we do in the seven months. So now our last group session is this week you've had the event, you've stood on stage and told your story. When you think about the future now, maybe what's different or what perspectives have shifted for you when you think about living a more thriving life as a result of this experience?

Lindy Metz: So the biggest shift is that I recognize that I have a fear of recognition that as much as I want to serve other people, I don't want to be recognized for that. I don't want people to think that I think I'm awesome. And so I have avoided the spotlight for years. And I didn't realize until this experience that actually wasn't just limiting me, that has been limiting everything I stand for, every business I have, that has been limiting so many things. And my sister was there at that event and her comment to me, she sent me a text after the event just saying how proud she was of me. But the thing that stood out the most on the text, and I still have it, " Is it was amazing to see you in the spotlight. It looks good on you. You should keep this up." So to have my little sister say that.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Little sister.

Lindy Metz: My little sister who most of our lives said, " You think you're too good for everything. You're just trying to be..."

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: inaudible little sisters are supposed to. Yeah.

Lindy Metz: Well, one of the early voices that honestly made me scared to be in the spotlight for her to turn around and say, " It looks good on you," was so special. And then I see that I've been holding myself back, but I've also been holding back the causes that I am leading. When if I would just stand forward and say, " This is not me being prideful. This is me being proud of what God's called me to do. But that is not mean I'm prideful." So many cooler things can happen. So I'm excited for that.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: That's standing tall in your story.

Lindy Metz: Yes.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: That's good stuff. And it's so true, and I'm thrilled that you said that because I think there are many women who see this opportunity. Whether they call themselves an introvert or they're just don't want the spotlight or whatever the reasons are that they see that there's this event where they stand on a stage and give a talk and they say, " No, that's not for me." And the event isn't about ego or grandstanding or any of those things. It's exactly what you just described. It's illustrating that we all deserve the kind of confidence in ourselves that we can stand tall in our story in the spotlight for just seven minutes with the desire to encourage others to stand taller in their story.

Lindy Metz: As we are.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: As you are.

Lindy Metz: I think that the misconception, I mean there are millions, but one is, " In order for me to be worthy of seven minutes on the stage, then I have to get all these other things in order first." That's not true. You're worthy as you are. In preparing for that talk that night. I think I shocked a lot of people when I said, I think I'm the most nervous because I talk a lot.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: You're a writer, you're a speaker, you've done all these, and every single person, every single season, the biggest discomfort is they'll say, " I'll talk about my business. I'll talk about anything that you want me to talk about, but talking about myself is the part that's making me so uncomfortable."

Lindy Metz: Mine was memorizing, quite honestly.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Was it?

Lindy Metz: I can talk about myself. I do it, not in a way bring credit to myself, but I'm not scared to talk about myself. I just was really scared to memorize and stand. I've been a songwriter a really long time, but I've always said, I'm a songwriter, not a singer because I don't want to be on stage. And so to walk through the process of my talk and then to prepare and deliver it, Alex always said, " This is for you." And I didn't understand that fully until afterwards. But right after I left part of my talk out, like unintentionally-

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: You always do. I always do too.

Lindy Metz: I took step out, didn't plan on it, but there's such a strong pattern of me, of beating myself up that I couldn't even enjoy being done. I was last that night, so I had waited. And so the part I left out is really important and pertinent because I remind myself that taking care of yourself is not selfishness. And I think that that's something that this has taught me. But I remember after the event and beating myself up and just thinking, "It didn't go as I planned." And one of the girls from another season, Christine said, "You can do it again for yourself. You have it written out. You can record it again for yourself. You don't have to worry about that. That was beautiful." And so I think that that's another thing I want to make sure that I say here is that as uncertain and a little bit awkward of walking into the first time that we all gathered, the first time the alums all gathered that was the exact opposite feeling. Warm, cheery, inviting, welcoming for you. And so I didn't even realize when I signed up for this experience that was a part of the deal that now we would get to gather with the previous seasons.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah, every month.

Lindy Metz: But that's huge. That's so encouraging and helpful to continue thriving.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: That's the sustainability piece, is to continue to have a safe place where you can process and ask and be yourself. Because like you said, the world is still going to be challenging even after the experience ends. You having that community of support, I love that Christine said that. That sounds totally like her. And Alex Perry, who is one of the Thrive guides who helps each speaker prepare incessantly before they take the stage. That's the deal. It's, you are preparing this in such a thorough way that it is ingrained in the pattern for you. And I don't think there's many women, even after four seasons, that will say that the talk went exactly as they thought it would or they'd prepared it to be. Mine never do. Mine are close, but sometimes something really special comes out of my mouth that I wasn't expecting, that I do feel is a bit divine as well. It's like, oh, that's really good. Apparently somebody here needed to hear that but I hadn't prepared it. But more importantly, it's the time and preparation that then ingrains that to my patterns of thinking and believing and the research on burnout that I talked about on that stage. I practiced that talk so many times. Like now, if someone were to walk up to me on the street and ask me what are my perspectives on burnout? I could rattle opinions and perspectives and data and research because I spent some so much time preparing this. So it's you preparing that message for you, is to make sure that you don't forget it when you need it on a random Tuesday at school.

Lindy Metz: I've repeated it several times, not the whole thing.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I love it. I love it. So anything else that you would want somebody that might be considering either the Rise and Thrive experience or A Thousand Thriving Women, anything that you'd want to say to them about this work?

Lindy Metz: I would say that if you arrived here to this talk that's not by accident, and if you feel some kind of nudging toward participating, that's not an accident either. That you get to choose what you do at that nudge. You can just dismiss it. You can go read the next self- help book, you can go do a million other things, but you're here for a reason. And so if you're feeling like being a part of this is in your calling, you should probably investigate that. Our school's tagline is, " Find a calling, change the world." So when you feel nudges, those are callings and I would pay attention.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So they're going to hear your talk and your talk was inspired by an eighties pop star experience. Give us a little bit of the backstory of that so they're prepared when they hear your talk.

Lindy Metz: Yeah. So I already said that this was an unexpected journey for me because I thought it was more business coaching. And for me it was more kind of therapy with friends and snacks. And it was awesome. Because of that, I needed to revisit a younger version of myself that was more authentic than who I've been for a while. And so I revisit 6, 7, 8 year old Lindy and how I used to be. And in that process I realized that a song I used to sing totally exemplifies what I'm learning right now. And so I reread the lyrics. Honestly, it didn't dawn on me what my story was going to be or the intro until we had to choose a walkout song. And I was like, " Okay, there's three options and it has to be this one because this is what the music video does." It was just so clear. So it's just me writing a letter to myself about how to love myself better in life with the rest of life I have left.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So a walkout song is the song that you choose when you walk out on stage to start your talk. And so the song for you...

Lindy Metz: Was The Greatest Love Above by Whitney Houston. And I used to sing that song when I was little, and I have forgotten the lyrics in the last 30 years. So it was time to remind myself of them.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So here is Lindy's talk.

Lindy Metz: First of all, what an honor to be in the room with all of you. Thank you for coming. This is a full circle moment for me. You see, when I was a little girl, I would dress up and put on my mom's heels and grab the piece of the canopy bed that wasn't used as a canopy bed and turned into a microphone. And I would sing. I would sing, I would perform. I even had some neighborhood girls down the street that would come over and be my backup singers. My parents would film us, and you knew that they were the backup singers because as I would sing, I would walk off to the side and push them away from me. So rude. Or is it? So I was fine with the spotlight. I was completely myself. I was unafraid and unashamed to be who I was made to be. Somewhere between age eight and 42 or a lot of places in between. That girl has gotten really quiet. People meet me now and they're like, " You never seem quiet to me." I speak a lot for work, but I don't speak a lot to adults. My work is mostly with children, so this is different. But I don't know if it was moving from place to place, seemed like my dad would get a promotion and we would get a new house in a new neighborhood, a new school. But that kind of turned me into the shy kid. I was always new. I don't know if it was middle school or high school. Those were kind of awkward years maybe for all of us, but I don't know. It's like there was no crowd that I fit into. So I had friends in every crowd, but was I myself? It could have been when I went to college and I thought I was supposed to do what college kids did, but that felt really gross for just one weekend. So I was like, " I can't, that's not me. I'm not that." No shame for anybody who was there or was here. Like, " You might have been here." That just wasn't me. It didn't feel like me. And even in adulthood, I mean I wish I could say that it was just childhood or adolescence, growing up. But also in adulthood I have shown up and tried to be the perfect teacher and the perfect boss and the perfect girlfriend, and then wife and then mother. You guys know the song. All of that perfection seeking has taken a toll on me. And luckily I found this experience at a time when I can change directions. So for tonight, I decided to write a love letter to myself. And I thought I would share it with all of you. I am going to look at a camera right over there because it's to me, and I don't know about you, but self- love doesn't always stay with you. So I know it's being recorded. I might need to watch it tomorrow or next week or next year whenever I feel like I'm doubting myself again. So here it goes, " Dear Lindy, you are good. You have always been good. You are enough. You have always been enough. You are loved, you have always been loved. You love, you have always loved from your earliest moments. Until today, you have had a heart to serve other people. But in the process you have lost some love for yourself. You show up and want so badly to be a bright and shining light in this world. You can go ahead and stop striving because you're already shining. You're good, you've always been good. You're enough, you've always been enough. You are loved, you've always been loved. And you love, you've always loved. Now's the time to stand tall and who you were made to be. The world needs her, not the other one. No more shrinking back. No more letting other people's expectations matter more than your own. No more comparing yourself or your work to the work of others. No more spiraling out of control, please stop. With how things could have gone differently or should have gone differently. What you could have done, how it could have been made better by you. It's all okay. You're good, you've always been good. You're enough, you have always been enough. You are loved, you've always been loved. You love, you have always loved. As you walked out," and we didn't hear this part of the song by the way. So side note, Lindy, " the lyrics of the song say,'I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind us of how we used to be.' You've been doing that work your whole life, inspiring children to be who they were created to be. Inspiring their parents to encourage them to be who they were created to be. And now it's time to do it for you." The irony of choosing that song is that in the music video, a young Whitney is standing on a stage just like this one. She is learning how to love herself for herself. And that's what you're doing right now. " You are good, you have always been good. You are enough, you have always been enough. You are loved, you've always been loved. You love, you have always loved. Never forget it. Love Lindy."

Speaker 1: (Singing).

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Thanks for listening to this episode. I would love it if you would leave a rating and a review on Apple Podcast and then go to wethrive. live. First thing you'll see is a place to drop your email and join the movement. I'll send you tools that you can use to thrive in life and business.

Speaker 1: (Singing).

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Hey y'all, fun fact. Did you like the music for the podcast? That is actually my son, Cameron Hession. And I would love it if you would go to Spotify and iTunes and follow him and download some of his other music. My personal favorite is TV Land.