It's About Damn Time
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Hello, this is Rebecca Fleetwood Hession host of the Badass Women's Council Podcast. I'm super glad that you're here. I feel like I should start with a little bit of Lizzo, it's about time. Because it's been a hot second since I've published an episode of the podcast. I'll tell you what, it was intentional. I spent a lot of time in July in reflection. Which is on brand because the tagline of this podcast is reflection and connection for the high achieving woman. So just doing a little modeling of what I teach and hope for all of you. I'm going to talk about that reflection for just a smidge. I have had dreams and expectations of this business for years. So many of them are coming to fruition. The book is published, the rise and thrive experience is going into it's fourth season. The impact I'm able to have with my coaching clients is significant. I've had a huge uptick and keynote speaking for all... the way you look at it, it looks like everything's going great. It is, but I was feeling that pull to be still and just ask myself," Am I building a business that I want to live and work in? Am I being smart about the money making model?" Just spent some time just zooming out and taking a look at what my heart was feeling, what the books were showing. Just did some evaluation of the work. I continued to coach and keynote. The old me would've had panic attacks. Not literally, but sort of. That I wasn't," Oh my gosh, I haven't put a podcast episode out. I would've stressed myself out over it. Instead, I gave myself permission and said," Look, if you take this time to stop doing a few things that you've been doing and just think, and be, and reflect. Everything will be better for it." You'll either come back with new ideas. You'll come back knowing that there are a few things that you need to stop and you'll come back with a renewed excitement about some things like the podcast. I am. I love doing this show. I love when you message me and say," That episode was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment." That's my favorite comment ever. Or when you come back and have suggestions, it lights my heart on fire. So I'm excited to be back with you to share with you the journey that I've been on the last few weeks in evaluating the business. One of the things about the podcast that I go back and forth on, because there are a lot of great podcasts out there. If I'm not careful, I'll go into comparison mode and I'll be wanting to emulate this person or that person. And get really judgey about my show and the inadequacies of it. I started to go down that route and then a couple of really good friends and business partners spoke into my life and said," Rebecca, your brand isn't really about having things all buttoned up and the same all the time." What you love is the spontaneity and the," Hey, I saw this person on TikTok today and I invited him on the show." These episodes are really in the moment, day in the life, random thoughts by Rebecca. But what I find when I do that is I still get those comments where people say," This is exactly what I needed to hear in this moment." So instead of believing that I'm supposed to have all of the shows scripted out for the year, the quarter, whatever season. I am going to just keep going with the flow and speaking what's on my heart. Because so far God's doing a good job of planting in my heart and mind what seems to be the things that you need and want to hear and giving me the experiences and the people that he wants me to take their stories out to you. So I'm going to just keep doing it, the way I've been doing it. Do I want to get better? Sure. I would love your comments. I would love for you to message me and say," Hey, here's a topic that I'm really thinking about lately." Or," Here's a person that I met that I think would be really cool to be on the show." This show is for you. It's to start a conversation that you continue to think about long after the episode ends. And ideally, engage conversation with others about what you're here. So this is for you. I would love to hear from you about the things that are on your heart or that you're curious about. Sound like a plan, Stan? All right, so quick updates. We're getting ready to launch season four, Rise and Thrive, Indianapolis. That in and of itself feels like wild success because that little seed of a dream of mine four years ago is now changing people's lives. It's changing my life because of the relationships and the things that I'm seeing in the women that have been participants. So we've got three spots left. We start September 29th and 30th for our kickoff. If you are an Indianapolis career woman who is ready for a life changing experience that is transformational and lasts for seven months, and then way past that. We would love to hear from you. So, that's all I must say about that for now. Other things that are updates, updates. I have been recording the audio book for Write Your Own Story, The Three Keys To Rise and Thrive As Badass Career Woman. And it has been so much fun. It's been so much fun that I saw an ad the other day for voice actors. I thought," I might want to do that." It has been a blast and I can't wait for you to experience it. Some of you have said," Hey, I'm going to wait and buy the audio book, because just prefer to consume my content that way." Great, I can't wait to put that in your ears. But you know what's also been really... oh gosh, what's the right word to describe this? Meaningful, fun, meaningful, shocking, in some ways. I wrote that book over three years. So some of the stories, it's been a minute since I've experienced them or wrote about them. To read my story, to read back through my story. Y'all, there are some places in there that I tear up. The company that I hired to produce the audio book, they've been amazing. Mark, who's my partner there, has just been unbelievable. A couple of times he teared up and we just had this connection over going back over my story. That has also been the catalyst for me, taking myself into some reflection time and asking myself," Am I living those things that I have written about in the book in a beautiful, intentional way? Am I honoring what has been so profound for me? Am I continuing to live in those practices that I know are good for me?" I share that because journaling or somehow chronicling your story is such a beautiful way to go back and revisit it to see what you need in the future. If you've read the book, that's a big part of what I talk about is me reading years worth of my journals back to back one day. And realizing that my story was just repeating over and over, and I was stuck. It was that realization that caused the catalyst to make significant changes that have been the most beautiful life changes I could ever dream. So if you're not keeping a journal or somehow chronicling your story. Maybe you take a lot of pictures and maybe it's just flipping back through your photos on your phone occasionally to revisit some of those really old parts of your story from way back. And seeing what kind of emotions those evoke. Is your story stuck? Are you moving forward as intentionally as you'd like to be? That could be really, really profound for you. My daughter, she looked back over a text stream with a gentleman that she is currently dating. They've known each other, been friends, gone to school together for years. It was funny, one day we were in the car and she was reading back through their text stream from back when they were sitting by each other in class and not dating. Just thinking about the journey and the story that's unfolding for them. So, there's all kinds of ways to revisit and go back and look over your story, so that you can ask yourself," How is this story serving me? Do I want to write a new chapter and just be more intentional moving forward?" So that's another little catch up, audio book is coming. What else has been happening in the world of Rebecca Fleetwood Hession? Oh, well, speaking of going back over my story. I spent about a month, this last month when I'm not podcasting. One of the ways that I filled my cup, this is going to surprise you. I spent about a month helping my ex- husband stage and sell his house and decorate his new house. I know it sounds crazy. In some ways, it is. But it's crazy good. Because that project that I took on and he paid me, it's not all just kindness of my heart kind of shit. But he paid me because he knows I'm really good at it. So that project did two things for me. One, it reminded me how far we've come. Because divorce sucks for everybody. And the healing that's taken place for he and I and our family, has just been God breathed. It's been beautiful. I've prayed for it, it's answered prayers. Working on this project together, I could see him through the lens of all the things that are great about him and knowing that the things that we didn't agree on so much, I would go home at night and not have to deal with those anymore. But it is funny how much more appreciation we have for each other's differences. It was one, it was a great affirmation to the healing that's happened in our lives. But the second thing that working on that project did for me, was it allowed me to use unique gifts, talents, and abilities that I haven't been able to use in a while. I've lived in my house for about six years. Actually... hold up. I think it's six years as of this week. Or maybe even today, isn't it weird? The synchronicity of life when you're paying attention to it. All of a sudden I'm like," Oh, I think it's like right now. It was August." Yeah, so funny. So I'm pretty settled in my house and I love to decorate and I love to design and I love to take things and make them new again with a coat of paint or a reupholster. And just not spend a lot of money, but use a lot of my creativity to make spaces beautiful. The other thing that I'm really good at, is not only can I make them beautiful. But I can make them personal. I make them unique to the person who lives there. I'm careful to think about how that person lives and works in that space. So it's set up not just to be beautiful, but to be functional. I got to use all of that, all of those gifts and talents on this project. Because y'all, I was married to him for... I don't know, 18 years. I know exactly how he lives and works. He's messy. So I was able to think about, how could he live his way, not the way I used to try to organize things my way? But literally honor who he is. He has tons of artifacts and... not really traditional antiques. But things that have a story. He has letters from a great, great grandfather that was sent that we are displaying in a creative way. He has a rose from his mom's funeral that he wants to preserve. I found a container to do that and make it beautiful. But also thinking about, he works at the kitchen table instead of in his office. Then there's piles of mail everywhere, so how can we make that work so it's functional? I got to make this space so him. Yes, it felt good to honor him because I do love him and care about him as a person. He's the father of my children. But it also mostly, the reason I did it is because I got to feel the joy of using my gifts and talents that I hadn't used in a long, long time. And you all, it felt so good. So on the day that the movers had moved the big stuff in and I had already had the painters had come in, we painted fireplaces, we got lights, we painted cabinets. I didn't spend a lot of money other than on paint. But after the movers moved all the big stuff in, I went to work decorating and putting together a couple of the rooms. So that when he got home from work, those two rooms were done. Before he even got there, I stood in that house with tears rolling down my face. So proud of the work that I had done and just so happy to have done something that I'm good at, that I love to do. Yes, when he got home, he was super thankful, amazed at how it looked. But that wasn't the part that gave me the most joy. I didn't do it as much for him, as I did it for me. I share that with you because when we know who we are, we're intensely self aware. We look for opportunities to you use those gifts in beautiful ways. Not only do we serve others, we light our own hearts on fire. When we feel valuable and relevant, and we're having an impact. The ultimate of thriving. Even though we're exhausted from doing the work, it fills us back up, it gives us additional energy. We have the ability to do that in our day to day work. It's one of the reasons I couldn't wait to get back to the podcast. Because I love recording these podcasts. I love interviewing interesting people and sharing their stories. So when we know who we are and what we're good at, we don't need other people to tell us we're good. We don't need permission. We don't need those things to tell us what lights are hard on fire. We just need to discover who we are and then go use it in big, bold, beautiful ways. Do that. Hey, it's good to get the affirmation. I ain't mad about that. I want to be appreciated. I don't want to move through my life without somebody at some point saying," Hey, thank you. Good job. I appreciate you." I'm not saying we don't appreciate those things. But we don't need them to know who we are. What else do I have to update you on? Oh, I got another one. It's been a minute. I got on TikTok. I know, I know. And I'm sort of obsessed. You start anything new, I had 50 followers and three people would look at my videos. But it started to grow, and then one day I posted a story. Oh, you all, about the difference between dating younger men versus men of my age group. I'm 56. The TikTok has now blown up to 36, 000 views and the comments went berserk- o. It was kind of scary because the comments were coming in so quickly. One of the things about social media and about using social media for your business is, it's meant to engage and get to know your followers and create a conversation. It's not just about putting stuff up there and walking away. If you really want to use it in a meaningful way, you want to know who people are. So I always try to respond to comments and engage in the conversation. Oh boy, they were coming in so quick that I finally, one night I was like... I was so overwhelmed by it. I just was like, shut everything down. I was like," I can't make eye contact with that." The other thing that it reminded me of... and if you want to see what I said about the difference between younger men and old men, follow me on TikTok. Go check it out. It's pinned at the top. But the other thing it reminded me of is... and I'm going to use a quote from my old life with Franklin Covey. Dr. Steven Covey used to say," We don't see the world as it is. We see the world as we are." So we take in everything that's happening around us through our own past experiences. So, that's the filter that we're always using. When we level up with emotional maturity, what we learn to do is recognize that and then be able to experience things from the other's perspective more freely. But our natural tendency is to see the world through our own lens and our own experience. So what becomes important about social media is recognizing that. Because when someone comments on something faceless... like they're not having a conversation with me, they're just typing words on my page. There's zero filter and sometimes your opinions, your thoughts, your stories that you share are going to trigger something in somebody else. They're going to be challenging and they're going to be critical. What that 36, 000 view, hundreds of comments experience reminded me of in a huge way, in my face, was, oh, whoa, whoa. I don't have to respond and defend myself in some of these situations. Their story can be their story, and my story can be my story. I don't need to try to get them to come along and see the world through my eyes. In fact, a lot of people don't want to have their minds changed. Put that down, that's not yours. That's my other favorite phrase that I got from friend of the show, Lindsay Tjepkema. So sometimes you see something and you think," Oh, I need to do something about that." Sometimes you just need to put that down, that's not yours. While I will admit that the majority of the comments agreed with me, there were a few that were not happy with my opinions and wanted to challenge me on those. That's okay because I don't get everything right. And my opinion... I don't think there was a right and a wrong. It was just me sharing my experience. My experience is just that, mine. So another takeaway there is let other people's stories, be their story. We don't have to change their minds, we don't have to convince them. In fact, the best thing that we can do is be curious and ask questions and be interested in their view and their perspective. In fact, the more we do that as leaders, the better leader we're going to be. So another lesson from TikTok, if you will. Follow me on TikTok. Tell me what you're thinking over there. What else is going on? I don't know. How long have I been rambling? I haven't even been paying attention today. So this is the deal, as I meet people on TikTok or wherever, out into the world. We'll continue to do interviews. But every once in a while, you'll just get a random thoughts by Rebecca update. My hope is that there's still some valuable takeaways that you'll be able to message me and share with me. So message me, tell me what you want to talk about. Who do you want to hear from? Give me some of your thoughts. All right, y'all. I hope that you make it an absolutely great day. It is mid August and so the current phenomenon that I'm in, I'm using a hashtag on social summer till it's not. Just because Johnny and Susie and Jane went back to school does not mean it's not summer. I can't be bothered with that. So summer till it's not. And I hope you allow the rest of this summer to be everything that you want it to be. Thanks so much. Make it a great day.
Rebecca's back! With an all-new episode of The Badass Women's Council... It's about damn time. This podcast and what Rebecca teaches is all about reflection and connection, and for the past month, she took her advice and spent the month of July reflecting. In today's episode, she shares a bit about taking a break during July and what she reflected on during that time. Listen now!