Stand Tall in Your Story - Stephanie Ewing

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This is a podcast episode titled, Stand Tall in Your Story - Stephanie Ewing. The summary for this episode is: <p>This weeks episode is part of the Stand Tall in Your Story series, and today you get to hear Stephanie Ewing's story. Stephanie is a Commercial Banker with Chase Bank, and her story today is about being a perfectionist. She opens up about her biggest fear of people not liking her, and how her journey has helped her be unapologetically her. Listen now for Stephanie's inspiring story!</p>
Stephanies speach
06:26 MIN
This week's reflection question
00:28 MIN

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: (singing). This is Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, host of the Badass Womens Council podcast. I'm super glad that you're here. I'm also the founder of an experience called Rise& Thrive, which is a seven- month experience that I currently host here in Indianapolis, looking to take it into some other cities over the next few years. But we are in season three. We're launching at the end of October. It's a seven- month experience for seven career women to go through together. And the reason that I created Rise& Thrive is I wanted to have an experience for career women that was transformational, not just training. Because in the busy- ness of our lives, it's really difficult to implement even great things that we hear about on a podcast or in a training class, because the busy- ness of our lives just takes over. And as much as we have good intentions, we don't always implement or make the changes that we want to make. But in a seven- month experience, you've got the opportunity to try some things and come back and talk about it. And mostly, I created it because even before 2020, we desperately need connection. And one of the biggest traps that a career woman gets into is she buries connection under busy, and it's an unintended thing. We don't set out to just intentionally do it. We just have taken on so much that we put our own needs for connection on the back burner. And I believe that it's really important to have connection in your lives that are affirming of your career goals and needs and desires, but also not people that work in your own organization. You want somebody that allows you... You want people in your life that allow you to be completely vulnerable. It's really difficult to do that inside the organization that you work with sometimes because there are things that you are fearful of and things that you're processing, and you don't want to sound like you don't have it all figured out. And when you can surround yourself with women that aren't part of your company or your paycheck, it gives a higher degree of freedom to be yourself. And so Rise& Thrive is an opportunity for you to be your best self, or maybe some days even your worst self, in a place where you can be loved and accepted for exactly who you are.( singing). We have been over the last couple of weeks, sharing with you the stories of the women of Rise& Thrive season two. At the end of the seven month experience, each woman does a TED- like talk, a seven minute TED- like talk at a big event called Stand Tall in Your Story. And season two had their event on April 20th at the Vogue Theatre. These stories are their unique stories that matter to them. And this week we have Stephanie Ewing from Chase Bank. And her story I know is going to resonate with all of you, because I don't know a high- achieving woman that doesn't have some head trash, some of that internal dialogue. Often we call it the little bitch in our head that tells us we need to be more perfect. We need to be liked. And Stephanie vulnerably openly shares that her biggest fear was always that people wouldn't like her, and how that impacted her confidence and her ability to completely be herself. I've now been friends with Stephanie for a while now. And I can honestly say that while we still struggle with some of these things, her confidence and her sense of self is just profoundly different, which is the difference between striving and thriving. All right, here we go. We're going to hear Stephanie Ewing's seven minute talk from Stand Tall in Your Story that was performed on April 20th at the Vogue Theatre here in Indianapolis. Here we go.( singing)

Stephanie Ewing: I've been a perfectionist pretty much my entire life, but I'm working on becoming a recovering perfectionist, because if I were going to please you with my story tonight, this would be a completely different talk. I stand here in front of you, scared to tears of what you're going to think of me. I'm scared to admit that I don't always have it all together. I'm scared of being viewed as a failure. And quite honestly, I'm scared you won't like me. I tell my kids every day that I want them to be respectful and kind to everyone. I truly just wish everyone could just get along. It's this mindset that over the years has given me a chameleon personality, where I can get along with and talk to just about anyone, always being respectful and kind. Anyone here willing to admit that they should themselves in their head all the time? I am you. I see you. It is real. I play scenarios over and over and over in my head, thinking about how I didn't live up to someone's expectations, and worried about what they're thinking about me right now. You know, I've lived a really great life. I wasn't one of the popular ones in school, but I wasn't one of the nerds either. I was nice to anyone and it would be a friend with anyone that would talk to me. I was a dancer and a band geek who loved to go to Taco Bell after football games on Friday night. I got good grades and I didn't really have to try too hard at it either. I got into Purdue for my undergrad, where I changed my major four times, because who really knows what you want to be when you grow up at that age? I knew I wanted to be in business, but to get into the business school at Purdue, you had to take calculus, and I was scared of calculus. However, I realized that if I wanted to do anything within my passions, I needed to go to business school. So I sucked it up and I suffered through the calculus. I did all the things that our society has molded you to think is a successful college career. I probably partied a little too much, took a few too many naps, maybe one or two through a class or two. But I also worked, paid my own bills, learned to cook for myself, learned how to book my own travel back to see my family at home. I even followed the cliche of falling in love with my husband in college. And then senior year of college came and everyone expected me to find a job. I was lucky to have four years of college paid for by my parents, but I knew that the second that I graduated, I was off the payroll and I needed to take care of myself. People always ask me how I got into banking. And my answer will always be the same. It was the shortest line at the job fair. Because when you're 21 years old, you still don't know what you want to do with the rest of your life. All of the cool places to work have lines for days all over the student union, and there's National City Bank. No one's in line to talk to National City Bank. So I thought, sure, my dad's a banker. His dad was a banker and his dad was a banker too. Banking couldn't be all that bad, right? Get a little management experience, a little finance. I can go anywhere after that. Well, here I am, 16 years later, still in banking, and I really do love it. Those past 16 years have included a lot of hard work, new challenges, promotions, sales trips, and awards, all while building a family. Travis and I got married after I graduated from Purdue, or we graduated, he did too, good for him. And we are the proud parents of two amazing kiddos, Amelia and Grant. And as if working full time and parenting wasn't hard enough, Travis and I decided to dive into entrepreneurship last year. We opened a yoga studio in January of 2020. You know where this is going. Let me just tell you that opening a yoga studio in January of 2020 is legit the worst timing in the history of the world to open a yoga studio. The past year- plus has been hard on a lot of us, myself included. And man, did it do a doozy on me emotionally. I went from literally living the American dream to feeling like a failure and lost. I had lost my confidence that I had once had in myself and I felt scared and alone, all the while, worried about what everyone else was thinking of me. Enter Rebecca and Rise& Thrive. I have always been a proponent of personal and professional development, but when the opportunity for Rise& Thrive came across my desk, I knew this was something different, an experience that I had never had before and something that I needed to invest in myself in, especially at this point in my life. I was craving the connection to people, the right people that could help me get through this really tough time in my life. The past few months, I have learned so much about myself, the way that I think, the way that I interact with others, and where I spend my energy. These women and this experience have allowed me to be unapologetically me while I continue the journey of finding my confidence again. So today I still stand here, scared to tears of what you're going to think of me, but I'm learning to be okay with the fact that I might not be for everyone. But as long as I have the love and respect of my husband and my kids, I must be doing something right.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I told you Stephanie's talk would resonate. I don't know a single person that doesn't have some of those same insecurities. So let me ask you, is this your time to rise and thrive? Is this the year that you jump into this experience? We start on October the 28th. If you are a career woman here in Indianapolis, we would love to talk with you and hear your story and what you might be able to get out of this experience. In fact, today's reflection question from Stephanie's talk is how much bolder and more confident and courageous could you be if you could completely be yourself without some of that inner dialogue that holds us back? So if this is your time to be bolder, more confident, more courageous, and surround yourself with other bad- ass women, let's talk. Thanks so much for being here, being a part of this podcast and this community. If you want to jump into the online community, go to www. bad womenscouncil. community. It's free to join. There's some classes in there that you can sign up for that are paid classes, but to join the community is completely free. We do some weekly sessions virtually. We would love for you to join. And if you join, it just becomes more bad- ass because you're there. Thanks so much. Make it a great day. When I work with my clients, I want them to discover their unique, personal story, so they can then stand tall in that story and live a life full of soul and emotions and their natural curiosity about their unique gifts, talents, and abilities so they can live a thriving life. Because our brains are hard wired for stories, and our brain wants us to thrive. So I help my clients tap into that. And I also have a sponsor for this podcast called Storybook, which is a unique and innovative platform that helps you bring your company's stories to life by tapping into the emotional flow and the natural curiosity that we have about your products and services. So check them out. You can go to my website, wethrive. live, click on the Stand Tell in Your Story link, and see the kind of work they're doing for us, or go to their site, cantaloupe. tv, and there's hundreds of stories there that they've created that you can experience. Check them out. We're so grateful to work with them and for them to sponsor the podcast, and please join the online community at badasswomenscouncil. community, where we can continue the conversation and you can meet other bad- ass high achievers like you. Thanks so much. Make it a great day. If you like the music for the podcast, go to iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to your music and look up Cameron Hession Clouds. You can download the full song there. He's got some other stuff out there as well. And y'all, he's my son, be great if you'd go and download some of his stuff.( singing)


This weeks episode is part of the Stand Tall in Your Story series, and today you get to hear Stephanie Ewing's story. Stephanie is a Commercial Banker with Chase Bank, and her story today is about being a perfectionist. She opens up about her biggest fear of people not liking her, and how her journey has helped her be unapologetically her. Listen now for Stephanie's inspiring story!

Today's Host

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Rebecca Fleetwood Hession


Today's Guests

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Stephanie Ewing

|Commercial Banker, JPMorgan Chase