Random Thoughts by Rebecca
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: (Music). Hello. This is Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, host of the Badass Women's Council Podcast. And I'm super glad that you're here. I am sporting a Badass Women's Council hat today, available in the merch store, y'all. Did you know I had a merch store? So many cool badass products in there. You should check it out. If you go to wethrive. live/ shop, you'll find it. You'll find this hat, you'll find mugs, you'll find T- shirts, you'll find sweatshirts, you'll find journals. Oh my gosh. So many amazing things. I can't believe you haven't been there. So inaudible there today. Check it out. Tell me what you think. Give me suggestions and things that you'd like to see there, because I'm always loving to hear from you. So today, I'm going to give you some more'Random thoughts by Rebecca' that came up yesterday while I was on a... Do you hear that in the background? That's my Roomba. She now speaks Chinese. I can't get her to go back to speaking English. She only spouts up when I'm recording a podcast or doing a keynote speech. She and I are having a challenge living together, but I think she just might be winning because she also sweeps my floor. Anyhow, little distraction.'Random thoughts by Rebecca' that come from a little seven mile hike, trail, run, nature, immersion experience that I did yesterday. The things that come up in my head during a long run or nature walk, y'all, it's a scary place up there; and also pretty dang beautiful too. So I'm just going to share with you some things that popped up yesterday, because I figure if they popped up that God has them there for me for a reason. So here we go. Number one; we create our reality from our thoughts and the words that we use and the way that we speak to ourselves. You can pretend like that's not true, but it is. Here's a silly but profound example of that, and how specific this is. I told you this was'Random thoughts by Rebecca.' So get ready. I had this favorite hair tie. Hang on. Bear with me for a minute. And it was like this... It was clear, so I could use it all the time, and it was one of those spiraly ones. If you follow me on social media, you know I've got my hair propped up on top of my head most of the time. And it was easy, it stayed in. I loved this hair tie, and it was the only one I had like that. And the number of times that I caught myself saying to myself," God, I hope I don't lose that hair tie. It's the only one I have. I really hope I don't lose that hair tie. I hope I don't lose that hair tie." Y'all, it was in my head almost every day. And then I would say to myself," You've got to stop worrying about losing the hair tie because that's what's going to make you lose the hair tie." I told you it's a scary place in my head. Well, yesterday, as I go out on my walk, hike, run thing, I lost my damn hair tie. And I was already feeling some kind of way, probably because of the amount of food and wonderful wine and bourbon that I'd had the night before. I was already feeling some kind of way, and I lost my hair tie. I felt my hair go down. It was hot and I felt my hair fall down, and I was like," That's it. I did it. I manifested losing my hair tie. What the actual hell, Rebecca?" And that was all it took to snap me into mindset creation mode. Because you can create beautiful things for your life just like you can create the things that you don't want by worrying about them so freaking much. Once you start worrying about something and obsessing about something, you are just drawing it in, you're just reeling it in. And so I said," Okay, enough of that." And so I literally stopped on this trail and I was like," Lord, let me just go into creation mode today and let me be thinking about all of the things that I want that are good and true and beautiful in my life, and be grateful for the things that I already have that I want more of." And I immediately flipped the script on what was running in my mind for the next two hours while I was out. Because I lost the hair tie in the first, I don't know, four minutes. So then I said," Well, look, if I've got the power to lose my hair tie, I've got the power to bring one back." And so I said," Okay, Lord, if there's an opportunity to loop back and I could find my hair tie, that would be amazing." Of course, it's clear; not easily to see. And then laughing to myself. I mean, yeah, I spend a lot of time alone. I'm an entrepreneur, I'm single, my kids are older, gone. I spend most of my time with me. And so then I said to myself," Look, if I find any kind of hair tie, I'm going to pick it up and use it. Don't even care about cooties. Don't even care. Going to use it because it's hot today. And I will just see that as a gift that has been brought to me through my thoughts, and the holy spirit, and God who loves me and wants me to be comfortable on my hike today." And I laughed to myself, and I pictured how excited I'd be when I found a hair tie. Now, y'all, I'm at this park, this big Eagle Creek Park. It's a, I don't know, state park. I don't know what it's called, but it's big. It's like millions of acres big. And I'm on the hardest trail, because also that's who I am. And so you're navigating through weird stuff and up and down and all around. And it's not like the inaudible walk through the park holding hands... No, not that. So I'm just picturing that I'm going to be finding me a hair tie, and it's going to be a beautiful thing. Y'all, it wasn't 15 minutes later; I found a hair tie in the middle of the freaking woods. Sure, there are people that do this trail, but the red trails are not crowded. And I just giggled and was so excited. So that was just more fuel for my fire. I started thinking about all the things that I want in my life and all the things that I'm grateful for. And I put on my favorite, I call it'the good life playlist', which is all my favorite artists that are uplifting, you know, the Ben Rector, the Chris Stapleton, One Republic; all my favorite'make me feel amazing and excited about life' playlist. And I just let my mind be happy and joyful and draw all of the beautifulness into my life. And it was amazing. So We have the power to create. So be mindful of what's in your mind and the thoughts that you have. And when thoughts about losing your hair tie come up, flip the script. When thoughts about worrying about your kids or your job or all that; go into creation mode, thinking about that life that you are creating and the things that you're grateful for. Please do that. Do it for me, do it for you. Just do it. Just do it. Okay. So that's my first random thought. Not all that random at all. I just asked you to be intentional about creating. But'Random thoughts by Rebecca' sounds really good. So I'm keeping it. The next thing. I just alluded to the fact I spend a shit ton of time alone. Well, I do. I mean, I'm on Zoom with clients and I'm doing keynote speeches and that kind of thing, but I'm also single and my kids are older and don't see them all that often. And so I spend a lot of time alone. And if we're not careful... And I say that too because I know a lot of you sent your kids back to school and there's kind of weirdness about the shift of that, and maybe your house is a little more quiet, which feels really good at first, right? But here's the thing about being alone; there's a difference between loneliness and being alone. And I have fallen into the trap of when I'm alone, letting myself be lonely. Let there be no mistake, I have been there. And I've got some good friends that I now know to reach out to and say," I'm kind of in a dark place", and they will come get me or help me think and talk my way through that. But now when I start to feel the dark of loneliness around the corner, wanting to smack me around a little bit, I go out and look for ways to connect, to intentionally connect. Because sometimes my friends just aren't available to go meet and go do something, or maybe I'm just not really looking for an actual go out to dinner or outing kind of thing, but I want connection. So I will go out and either run errands, do a Target run, dry cleaners, whatever. And in addition to the errand that I'm running, I'm thinking about intentionally connecting with anyone that I come across. So I'm in Target, looking at things, picking up things; I'm looking to strike a conversation. I'm looking to help somebody load something into their cart. I'm complimenting, genuine compliments, complimenting people that I see that might be wearing a cute outfit or whatever. I just look for ways to connect. And it's so beautiful when you see, on the face of that person that you've connected with, that they needed that too. It's one of my favorite things now. And I come home with my cup filled back up, knowing that I was valuable and relevant and made an impact in somebody's day. But even if, I can just tell they don't care whether I talk to them or not, I feel better. I feel a part of humanity. Because we're in the age of humanity. Our humanity has never been more important, and people feeling the lack of it and wanting to elevate it. So we don't have to wait for someone to come get us not to feel lonely. We can go out and intentionally connect. Now, one of my favorite ways, all time favorite ways to do that is when I see a mom with her family, her kids, and whatever they're doing... Like yesterday on the trails, there was his family, and they were just the... They had kids from toddler, maybe three, and the oldest looked to be about, I don't know, 13, 14. I don't know. There was three or four of them; kids. And she was taking a picture of the oldest kid holding the youngest kid beside the water, and it was so cute. And my favorite thing to do is say," Can I take a picture of all of you?" I have tears thinking about this, because I realized, as a mom, I didn't have hardly any pictures that I was in because I was always taking the pictures, which is why I am shameless about selfies now, because I am not going to get back on my life and not have it recorded. So I said," Hey, can I take a picture of all of you?" The look on this woman's face. She was like," Yes!" Which I love. Sometimes the moms fight me on it, and I have to almost just make them do it, because they're just not accustomed to either accepting help or being in front of the camera, whatever. But she said," Yes, that would be great. Oh my gosh, I'm never in any pictures." And she was just so lit up. And they all went over and stood in front of the water. And you guys, as I was taking the picture, the sky was perfect and the water was beautiful, and they were all smiling, and huge tears came to my face as I was taking the picture. And I took several and I said," You guys, this is so good. This is such a great picture, it's making me cry." And they all laughed. And then I handed her the phone back and she looked at it and she said," Oh my gosh, these are good." They were. They were so good. I wish I would've gotten one for my phone just to illustrate this little story and this point. And I said," Y'all a great day. God bless." And I just took off running. And tears just running down my face. And I thought," I hope they print that picture and put it on the mantle." Because I just felt so valuable, relevant, like I'd made an impact. And those are the things that your brain is looking for to thrive." Am I valuable? Am I relevant? Am I making an impact?" And if you've read my book, and I hope you have, and if you haven't, please do, that's what it's all about, is getting to that place of feeling those things in your life and your work. And so I just had tears running down my face, thinking," I had the opportunity because I chose to go out and do this today, and I chose to engage with this family. I chose to do it, and because I chose to do it, I get this feeling. I got to create this feeling for myself." And that just fuels my fire. So then I'm running a little bit later. There's this lady standing by the water and she's taking some pictures, but she has this purse thing, but it's a box. And curiosity; couldn't stand it. I had to know what it was. But again, I'm like," Ooh, it's another chance to connect and have a conversation." And I said,"Hi." I said,"I have to ask, what's that?" And I pointed to this box that she had over her shoulder. And she said," Oh, it's a..." And she said the technical term for it, but I don't remember what it was. She said," It's my stuff for my oil paintings. I'm going to set up and paint over here today." How beautiful is that? I just love that feeling of knowing that people are out creating and making art. And so then my heart got even more filled up. It was just a beautiful, beautiful opportunity to connect with people yesterday out on the trail. But none of that would've happened if I didn't choose to go out and choose to connect with people as I was going off on my walk, run, hike thingy. So that was point number two. We can intentionally get ourselves into a good spot. Being alone doesn't need to be lonely. Okay. Third thing. Getting into new environments. So another part of my book, Write Your Own Story: Three Keys to Rise and Thrive As a Badass Career Woman is navigating uncertainty. And Lord have mercy, uncertainty is a key part of all of our lives. And it's never been more front and center than having gone through 2020 and quarantine and all that bullshit. But we, before all of that, had lulled ourselves into a sense that we had way more control than we really do on some situations. Now that sounds like it's in juxtaposition of my first point, which is your mind and your thoughts, but we used to think that we controlled everything, and we don't. And there's a ton of uncertainty that is around us all the time. And the best thing that we can do is get comfortable with uncertainty; to be okay in the midst of the fact that we don't really know what's coming up next. You don't know what today's going to bring. I've had a couple of my clients recently that were in major car accidents. None of them had that plan for the day. I mean, you never know what's going to happen, but the more comfortable we get in uncertainty, the more we can navigate it well and it doesn't have to wreck us. And so I will often put myself into new situations so I remain comfortable with uncertainty. And I always have to talk myself through it. So yesterday, as I was thinking about where I wanted to go for a run, I knew I wanted to be in nature, in the woods; because it was hot, I also wanted it to be kind of shady and a little bit cool. But I often run on inaudible and I have my kind of regular route that I take, and I knew I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be in a new environment. And then I said," Well, I hadn't gone to Fort Fort Ben in a while. Maybe I'd go down there." But then one of the times that I was down there, I was feeling all kinds of not good about some stuff, and I didn't want that memory to pop up at that park. This is the level of intentional living that I am in. And I'm telling you, it's a beautiful thing, and I hope that you will take some of this away and use it as well. And so I said," Okay. So if I want to be in nature and I want to be in someplace new, oh my gosh, I'll go to Eagle Creek." I've been there a couple times with different people to paddleboard and do stuff, but I hadn't gone on a hike there by myself and I hadn't explored many of their trails; any of their trails, quite frankly. I was like," That'll do", because I knew they had a seven miler, which sounded perfect. And so I took myself to a place I'd never been on trails that I'd never been on. I drove 30 minutes to get there. And as I'm driving there, my brain is trying to talk me out of it. It's saying," Are you sure you really want to do this? You've never been in this area. Is it safe?" My brain is trying like crazy to talk me out of it. And I was like," Mm, no, that's not what we're doing. We're going. We're going." It's what I talk about in the book; when the little bitch in our head is trying to stop us, we put her in the passenger seat with a seatbelt and a snack, but she don't get to drive. So I quite literally went to Starbucks and got me a little snack before I went, because I knew I needed some more food and fuel. And I laughed at myself about the metaphor. And then I drove to the park, and immediately I was like," Well, you don't know where to park. You don't know where to pick up this trail. You don't know. You've never been here." And so as I'm pulling up to the gate, I say to the lady," Hi, I've never been here. Do you have maps for the trails? I saw one online that, you know, the seven miler... Do you...?" She's like," Absolutely!" She hands me a map. Great. I said," Okay, so where's the best place to park to pick up this trail?" And she was like," Anywhere that doesn't say'don't park.'" She said," You can pick it up from any spot pretty much", because I had the map. So I said to myself," I'm okay. I've asked for help, I've asked for information, I got my map." And so I just immediately pulled to the next place that had a parking spot and I got my water and my map and off I went. But I did, in the first, I don't know, 15, 20 minutes was saying to myself," Am I safe? Am I okay?" And I just had to keep saying to myself," Am I okay? Yep. I'm okay." And as I went, especially because I was moving my body, my brain just got into increased dopamine levels and a happy place and some good music, and it turned out to be the most beautiful day. And I rewarded myself and capped it off with a huge cheeseburger and a beer that evening, and just was happy and proud of myself. So I could have chosen to stay home all day alone and wallow in whatever self pity and misery I could conjure up for myself that day, or I could go out and explore and be in nature, and just absolutely feel great about my life and all the greatness that's being created through my imagination and my thoughts and the good Lord above. Well, that's three things. I'm telling you, y'all, my brain has lots of activity, lots of thoughts. Lots and lots of thoughts. I hope this has been helpful. I am currently creating some content for you; a podcast and some things about quiet quitting. Because I know this is a huge topic and I've got thoughts about it. I know that's shocking to you. I also want to give you a couple of updates about friends of the show, Rising& Thrive business partners. Rise& Thrive is a seven month experience that I do in Indianapolis currently, but we're going to be taking it to other cities. Most specifically, we're looking at Denver next. So if you know amazing high achieving women in Denver, send them a link to the show, because I'm going to want to meet some of these people soon. I'm going to be making a trip out there, and I want to schedule some time to meet as many people as possible to start seeing if this is something that they would appreciate. Because Eliza Kingsford, one of our Thrive Guides, lives out there. She lives in Boulder. And I also have lots of friends that live there from past FranklinCovey days, and all the things. So I'll absolutely want to go out there and meet some people. Where was I? Oh yeah. So Rise& Thrive Thrive Guides. Eliza is one, and also... Emily Perry. Oh my gosh. My brain just went kind of blank for a minute. Not Emily Perry. Emily Perry is the director of Susie's Place, which is an amazing nonprofit. We're getting ready to have a... Her fundraiser is coming up on September 24th. And several of the folks from Rise& Thrive will be there. I have a table, a couple of tables that will be there to support Emily Perry. But her name must have just popped up because I was supposed to say it on the podcast. Now, you know what I do need for Emily Perry? If you've got auction items, that would be amazing. Like experiences, trips, something that you can donate, so that we can auction off to make this organization more money. Oh my gosh. Hit me up. I would absolutely love for you to do that. So apparently, I was supposed to talk about Emily Perry there. Alex Perry is a Thrive Guide for Rise& Thrive Indianapolis. And she just launched her second book, Minivan Moguls... I can't remember the tagline. I'll put it in the show notes. She won't be mad at me. I make mistakes all the time. But I want you to have access to that, because we love Alex and she does amazing things for our community. And also, she's doing a little class on imposter syndrome. So I'll put a link to that as well. I don't know. My brain just did a little hiccup there for a minute. I was thinking there was somebody else's announcement of some sort that I was going to share. See, Alex is... Oh yes. Alyssa Teal; also a Thrive Guide for Rise& Thrive Indianapolis. Alyssa, I love the shit out of you. We messaged each other all weekend. I just had a little brain hiccup. Alyssa's book, Rebel... Clearly I need to wrap up the podcast, because my brain is not functioning as well as I'd like for it to. I thought I had a copy of her book right here. I was going to hold it up and show you. I do have a copy of it right here. Oh, I'm knocking everything over. Rebellious Resilience: Alyssa Teal. Y'all, this is so good. Tagline," Find Your Worth, Find Your Way." This is her story, and there's some places in it that are just heartbreaking, but what she brings to you from those heartbreaking moments will have you laughing, crying, all the things. Highly recommend you pick up that book. Also we'll put that in the show notes. My goodness. Just had a little moment there where I couldn't get all my thoughts together. Thank you. So again, we're going to talk about quiet quitting in a future episode, probably next week. And then I've got a couple of interviews scheduled over the next few weeks as well. I've found somebody on TikTok that I'm pretty excited about reaching out and asking her to be on the show. Cross your fingers that she says yes. Cool stuff coming up. If you want to be a part of Rise& Thrive Indianapolis, let's do it. Message me. Let's talk about it. I've got some spots open, and I would love to get to know you and your story. Thanks so much, y'all. Make it a great day.( Music).
In this episode of The Badass Women's Council, Rebecca shares insight into her "random thoughts" during her most recent hike through Eagle Creek. She dives into the difference between loneliness and being alone, the importance of being in new environments, and being intentional about how we speak to ourselves. Tune in now!