Write Your OWN Story: Thoughts on Writing a Book
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: This is Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, host of The Badass Women's Council Podcast and I'm super glad that you're here. We provide reflection and connection for the high achieving woman. So obviously the podcast episode you're listening to by yourself. So the connection you can find at badasswomenscouncil. community. Come on in and join us. All right, here we go. Hello. This is Rebecca Fleetwood Hession, host of The Badass Women's Council Podcast and I'm super glad that you're here. So there's a high probability that as you are listening to this, my book is finally available on Amazon and all the places that you buy books. Holy shmolies! Now I say high probability because this whole book publishing deal, it's kind of like, have you ever built a house and they say," Oh, you'll be in my Christmas," and you're thinking about all the great Christmas decorations that you'll put up in your new house and then surprise, you're really not going to get in there until Easter. Big projects are kind of like that. Not because anybody is malicious or messes up, just, you know, shit happens. And so we're kind of playing it day by day, but we think it's going to be out on March 17th, which would be super cool because St. Patty's day for crying out loud. Who doesn't love another reason to party. And it's also my late grandmother's birthday, which would be so fun too. But I am going to spend a little bit of time today telling you about how I'm feeling about the book, some of the back story, just kind of ram a little bit about this and that about what's on my heart and in my head. So a couple of nights ago, after a wildly successful Stand Tall In Your Story event, that happened on March 8th, please stay tuned for the video of the women's stories. It was epic. Everyone in the audience said it was our best one ever. We just keep getting better and better at knowing how to do this. And it's so, so fun. But a couple of nights after that event, I immediately needed to go into marketing for this book. And I had already spent, as you know, if you follow me, so much time putting info about the event, and I started to feel that I'm just sick of me. I'm sick of putting myself out there. And luckily two things. One is I've hired the most amazing marketing agency, Coverdale Consulting and the team there. Rachael Coverdale is founder/ owner. Claire is my account representative, Andrew, who's amazing as Rachael's partner without them, I couldn't keep going because they're doing the heavy lifting and they're also staying very inspiring. Number two is the fact that why in God's name would I spend more than three years writing this book if I wasn't willing to do every single thing possible to get it into the hands of the people that I wrote it for. So I had to remind myself, Hey girl, the saying about you and you wrote it because you care, you wrote it because you believe that the content in the book will make a difference and be helpful to your reader. So get over your darn self and keep going. And I actually talked to myself like that. So that was the conversation I had with myself and that was helpful. And I think it's a good reminder that we need to know... Okay, good reminder. Four, when we want to do big things, which I think most of us deep down kind of want to do big things. It's just whether we're willing to get across what I call in the book, the sea of uncertainty to do it. But when we want to do big things, we have to know why we're doing them, because it's the why that keeps you moving forward when you start to have those insecurities or doubts, or just kind of get psyche yourself and know why, know who it's for and why it matters. And that's the case even in your daily task list, quite frankly. And one of the things I recommend is to take a look at your calendar appointments, look at your tasks and ask yourself who's this for and why does it matter to them and to me? So those are good questions to keep in your pocket for lots of situations. So that's one little rambling thought about what's happening with the book, just a little detail in case I forget just popped into my head. I start recording the audio book next week, which won't be out for probably eight weeks- ish. Again, timelines are just ideas, thoughts, maybes. So don't wait to buy the book for the audio book, because it's going to be a minute and I need you to buy the book quite frankly. What else is going on? So another thing about this book process and putting things into the world that make you feel super vulnerable, it couldn't be a bigger case for building a really strong community of support. And so I want to give you a little bit of the backstory of the last, oh gosh, four or five years of my life. So six years ago- ish, I got a divorce after 18 years of marriage. About a year later, I sold the dream house that I had spent lots of time, energy and money building. I had a 23 acre estate with a couple of ponds and lake ponds, whatever, and a beautiful home that I poured into every single detail. And it just wasn't serving my needs anymore. The kids were busy, they were hardly over there. I was rambling around this big house by myself. It was super cool location, but way out remote. And I wanted to be spending more time with friends and it was inconvenient. So sold my house and moved into town and said to myself, hey, if you get into this new place and you start feeling like you want to change careers, leave your wildly successful 20 year career and do your own thing, do it. And it wasn't days maybe where my heart just lit up and said, yeah, this is a fresh start. This is what we're going to do. So I gave a six month notice to my wildly successful career with Franklin Covey, which was a beautiful, beautiful experience. And I started my own thing. Now here's the thing about starting this thing. I didn't really know what it was going to be. I decided that if I was going to jump into this fresh start, that I was going to do it, seeking God ideas, not good ideas. And if you hang around here much at all, you know that I ain't afraid to talk about my love for Jesus. So the only way that I could build a business with God ideas, not good ideas is spend a lot of time with him, with God. And so I did training and keynote speaking and this and that to keep some money rolling in while I figured it out. And I sat every morning in stillness seeking ideas, answers, healing from all of the shit that I'd been through over the past few years. And for someone which I know is a lot like most of you that was so accustomed to being phonetically busy, this time in stillness at first was so hard. I wanted answers. I wanted them now, I wanted them by the end of the week. I wanted to know what was next. I wanted a task list and a strategic plan. And it just doesn't always work that way. What I learned was I had a lot of healing to do first. And so that time in stillness was a big part of that healing process. But over a period of a couple of years, I started to get creative and hear ideas. And it was in one of those sitting in stillness times that I got the download to start this Rise and Thrive seven month experience. That's now going to be in its fourth year, starting here in a month or so to start recruiting for year four, season four. And the idea for Stand Tall In Your Story. And during this whole time I was jotting notes down for the book. I knew I was going to write a book. I have been a writer since I was a child. It's part of my unique gifts and talents. And so I was jotting ideas and journals about what this book could be. And I started writing it roughly as I was going through this process. And it was, one, as it got clearer, as the ideas for the business got clearer, I also heard the Lord say," I'm going to send you the people that will support you in this journey," because connection has been such a huge part of my calling. What I know I'm here for is to help people connect to their inner knowing, what I call our inner thrive guide and mostly to connect with each other, to build really beautiful communities of support. And so the Lord said, I'm going to bring you the right people to support you in this journey. And you all, as I look around this week, thinking about the launch of this book and having those moments of I'm sick of myself, I realized this week that, man, did he come through on that one because I have the most amazing supportive friends and business partners and I could not be doing the stuff I'm doing right now without that kind of support. So that's one of the key points I wanted to make today is it's a big, big, big piece of this puzzle. But as I was jotting down notes for the book, I finally got to the point where I was like, okay, I'm ready to write this thing. This was about three years ago. And I did, I wrote the whole dang thing. And as I was reading through it, I thought the ideas are there, the things I want to share, but the way it's written sucks, it read like a training manual. And because I had come out of the training and development industry and I still wasn't cleansed of that way of thinking and things, and I hated it. I thought, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I started over and this was right as quarantine was happening and all of those things. So I started over because I tried to refresh it and it just was too hard. And so I thought, I'm just going to start over. The concepts are going to be the same, but the approach is going to be different. And the second time I wrote this book, kid you not, wrote the entire thing again. Again, ideas were the same, but it kind of sounded snarky and mean and I think it was because the world was in such upheaval and everybody was snarky and mean and trying to figure out what was going on that I thought, well, I do have a snarky side. I think we all know that, but that's not all of who I am. I mean the majority of the time I'm annoyingly optimistic. So I thought, well, that's not the brand that you want to put out there. So you all, this version that you're going to put in your hands here this week is the third time I've written this book. So lesson in that, don't give up, just keep going. It took those first two shady drafts to get me to the point that I was ready to put it in your hands. So I just think that's funny when people say, ask me about the book writing process. I'm like, oh, you mean the one I wrote three times, but the next book I've learned a lot. I don't think I'm going to have to write it three times, but who knows? We'll see how it goes. Another thing back to the... I know I'm rambling today, but that's the way my brain feels right now, thinking about the book, getting ready to come into your hands. So it is what it is. The other thing I wanted to say about community is one of the thrive guides, Alyssa Teal, she came to the event, of course, and she lives pretty far away from me. So we don't get to see each other live that often. And it's just so energizing when you get to be in person with people, especially with an event that's so energetic. But what I noticed was as soon as she got back home, she started posting about her book coming out and she hadn't been really putting herself out there that much. And we had had some conversations about that. It was part of the uncomfortableness and she started putting herself out there really beautiful, authentic ways that are completely showcasing her authenticity and I loved seeing it. And so it's been about a week. I messaged her the other day and said yesterday, I guess it was. And I said," Oh, I love what you're putting out there," and she said," I got so excited and inspired being together at the event that I knew when I got home, that it was time to put myself out there." And that's just another real and practical example of what happens when we put ourselves in community. When we put ourselves in the midst of other amazing people that are sharing their stories, it just makes us more inspired to share our own. And when I say stories, it doesn't have to be a book. It doesn't have to be a podcast. Your story is you and who you are authentically, but it's much more powerful and it's a little bit easier to put yourself out there authentically when you know you're surrounded by people that love and supports you in really beautiful, beautiful ways. So here's the deal. I would love you to buy the book. Well, why should you buy the book? Who's it for? When I talk about who's it for, the main person that I think of when I wrote it is that person like me, who's had success in their career. Who's gone out there and given it a shot and had success. And then all of a sudden thought, this wasn't exactly how I thought it was going to go. Like the awards are there, the great paychecks there, you're no longer struggling to pay the bills, but there's just something missing. There's that feeling of, well, I call it thriving, but wellbeing and satisfaction that you're missing and you're still chasing it. That person that thinks, well, this next degree or this next certification or this next promotion or this next thing is going to be the thing that gives me satisfaction. So it's this act of searching out there for the answers that are going to solve in here in our hearts. And that's not the way it works. And so if that resonates with you, the book is for you. The other thing that you'll take away from this book is a sense of confidence in who you are. And there are really key pieces to this around overcoming uncertainty, knowing your unique gifts and talents and building a career from those, the need for community, which I always hit on here. That story, that's the first of the three keys to Rise and Thrive as a badass career woman, which is the subtitle. The second key is money. I talk about money as a necessary commodity that we need to have education around and knowing the money making model of your business, knowing your personal money story. If you want to have influence and make a difference in your career, you're going to have to understand the money making model of your business. And then the third key is rhythm, which is recognizing that there is a Ebb and a flow, an emotional flow to our lives. And acknowledging it is the key to not fighting against it. We've spent so much time trying to control everything, control time, control people, control projects, but it's really about the ups and the downs and the give and the take and the ask and receive not this wrestle it to the ground control mindset that we've lived with for far too long. So any of that resonates with you, this book is probably for you. Is it just for women? No. Everything in the book is about humans, but I believe, and it's been my experience that high achieving women have a deep desire to make a difference, not only to be successful for themselves, but to make a difference in the ripple effect of their life and work. And so I love putting meaningful ideas into the heads and hearts and hands of high achieving women, because I think they do beautiful things with it at home, with their families, their children. I try to start a charter school about 10, 11, 12 years ago. Something like that, mostly because my son needed a different type of school. Well completely because my son needed different type of school. But in that process, I learned a lot about the way that women see education, the way that women see their careers, that women are making a lot of those decisions. And so I wrote this book for women because of the influence that I know that we can have in the world. And also because of the time where we are in the world. So with millions of women that left the workforce through the pandemic through great resignation, we were already on the throws of the burnout diagnosis from the World Health Organization and women took the biggest hit. We all know that. And so one of the things I say is on the back of the book is that millions of women have left the workforce, but they won't stay away. They'll be back, but they're coming back on their own terms. So write your own story is a framework for you to ask yourself a lot of questions about what are those terms for yourself? Because I don't know what they are. I know that we've spent too much time thinking that there's a checklist of how to do stuff and you know what you need. And this book is about helping you know the terms that you're coming back with and maybe you'll start your own business. Maybe you'll go back into working for someone else, but with a different mindset and a different set of expectations for what that could and should look like. So it's not just for women, but I believe that the concepts women need them more than ever. And I believe that women will lead in a way that focuses on people and prosperity. I care a lot about healthy, robust bottom lines in business, but I also know you don't have to sacrifice the people to get them. So I think women are ready for that kind of empathic leadership. They want it and so they're willing to give it, to model it, to do it. That's what's in my head right now you all. I'm excited. I can't wait to get your thoughts. I would love once you buy the book and read the book to leave reviews. You all, it's gold for authors for you to write reviews. And you think how many times you go to buy a book and you think, well, let me check and see what other people thought about it. I don't know why my light just went out, but maybe that's Scott saying," You should wrap this thing up." For you people listening just audio, I'm doing videos now too. So my little ring light thing, you just went off. I don't know what's happened and I totally forgot what I was... Oh, I know what I was saying. Reviews. You know how many times that you've gone and looked at a review to decide if you were going to buy a book. So I would love it if you would take a minute and leave a review for me. Okay you all, thanks so much. I can't wait to hear what you think about it. Make it a great day. When I work with my clients, I want them to discover their unique, personal story. So they can then stand tall in that story and live a life full of soul and emotions and their natural curiosity about their unique gifts, talents and abilities so they can live a thriving life because our brains are hardwired for stories and our brain wants us to thrive. So I help my clients tap into that. And I also have a sponsor for this podcast called StoryBook, which is a unique and innovative platform that helps you bring your or company stories to life by tapping into the emotional flow and the natural curiosity that we have about your products and services. So check them out. You can go to my website, WEthrive. live, click on the Stand Tall On your Story link and see the kind of work they're doing for us or go to their site Cantaloupe. tv and there's hundreds of stories there that they've created that you can experience. Check them out. We're so grateful to work with them and for them to sponsor the podcast and please join the online community at badasswomenscouncil. community, where we can continue the conversation and you can meet other badass high achievers like you. Thanks so much, make it a great day. Be like the music for the podcast. Go to iTunes, Spotify, wherever you listen to your music and look up Cameron Hession, Clouds. You can download the full song there. He's got some other stuff out there as well. And you all, he's my son. Be great if you'd go and download some of his stuff.
The Badass Women's Council Podcast is back after a few weeks off for Rebecca's Stand Tall In Your Story event and the release of her book, Write Your OWN Story: Three Keys to Rise and Thrive as a Badass Career Woman.
Today, Rebecca shares her feelings surrounding her book, the process of writing it, finalizing it, and background to what inspired her to write a book. Tune in now!