Stephanie’s Story: The Freedom to Let Go

Cameron Hession: (singing)

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: This is Write Your Own Story, Three Keys to Rise and Thrive in Life and Business. I'm your host, Rebecca Fleetwood Hession. Guess what? It's my birthday month. Oh, yes. And I have gifts for you for my birthday month. In fact, I talk about my birthday month in the newsletter that went out this week, which I hope that you're getting because they're fun. They're not boring newsletters, I promise. Go to wethrive. live, put your email address in there, and we'll send you cool stuff. I talked about in the newsletter, I'll give you a little preview, why I think this is the perfect time to just load up on Soul Food. But for the podcast, for you listeners that are here now, I have gifts. I have the Women of Rise and Thrive season four are here this month to share their stories, their experiences. And also, at the end of each of the interview portion of the podcast, we're going to play the talk that they gave at the fourth annual Stand Tall On Your Story event, celebrating International Women's Day. In fact, if you go to the show notes, you can click the link to see them on stage via video. These are great talks to share with your colleagues, your friends, your family. They spark amazing conversations. And I have another gift this month for you. I have just been looking for a way to get these Thrive tools and this Thrive coaching into the hands of thousands, tens of thousands, as many women as possible. Because I see and love the transformation that's happening for these women. And you're going to hear more about that this month on their shows that I'm interviewing them. So I created an experience called A thousand Thriving Women, and it's easy to access, it's low- cost, high- value. Who doesn't love that? And I want to share everything about it with you. So go to the link in the show notes and sign up for one of the info sessions, or just message me and ask questions. We start on May 1st, so get in there and get you some information. Okay, your first gift for my birthday month is Stephanie Amick. Stephanie is the executive director of Agape Therapeutic Riding Services, and she'll talk a little bit more about that on this episode. And in her experience with Rise and Thrive, she'll talk about how much more difficult it was to let go of some of the control that she had been trying to have over her life, and move into connection. Here we go with Stephanie. The first thing I want to hear is, when you joined Rise and Thrive, which is a seven-month experience, what was different between your expectations and what really happened, or the way it played out?

Stephanie Amick: Yeah. I would say that when I started, I thought this is going to be a great experience, and kind of a mastermind group where we're going to learn all the keys to leadership, and how to be a better woman and an executive role. And really what it became was learning more about yourself, and creating greater self- awareness within you and myself that came with the, here's the things that are my unique gifts and talents and what I bring to work, and what I bring to my personal life, and bring to friendships and relationships. And how all of that impacts leadership and business. And so it became this beautiful intersection of personal self- awareness and business and leadership. But I would say it's more the first one.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Exactly. Because we can't be a better leader, or lead a better company, until we know ourselves, care for ourselves, and then use those talents in a bigger, bolder, more badass kind of way. And so it is an interesting moment to watch people make that shift. And I've found it challenging, quite frankly, to talk about it before we get started. Because people don't... You have to experience it. You have to feel it.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: If I try to just market it that it's important, it doesn't hit like it does when you're in the experience every month.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah. And years ago I heard this quote from a local business that said, " Businesses don't grow if people don't grow." More or less, was what it was. And so I think me being into this experience was me wanting to lead by example, for not just my team. But also somebody who has a growth mindset, wanting to put myself in situations and in groups of people, like- minded people, or even not like- minded people where I can grow personally. Because I do know that all of that is what helps you become a better leader. And I certainly have lots of room for growth as we all do.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Always. We are constantly growing, just like the grass and the trees in nature. And we can't help but grow, it's a natural phenomenon. And what's interesting is every time we get to a new level, maybe it's a promotion, or maybe it's just a new understanding of ourselves or a new challenge, we're already growing and preparing for the next one. So there's always this sense of uncertainty and new thoughts and ideas to navigate, and I don't think we give ourselves enough understanding that that's the way life is. Instead we have the big lie we tell ourselves is, when I get caught up, everything will calm down. That's just, that shit ain't real. That's just not the way it works. And the other thing about growth I that I haven't figured out the best way to articulate what I'm feeling about it, or to share it. But When you think about nature and growth, flowers, trees, right? They grow from the inside, out. If you watch a time-lapsed video, it erupts and grows from the inside out. It's not like the flower goes out somewhere, gets some flowers and some things and sticks it on themselves. But that's what we have tried to do in the past is, I'm going to go get a class. I'm going to go get a degree. I'm going to go get a book. I'm going to go get a thing and I'm going to put it in me for my growth. That's not the way it works.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah, which is why, I mean, I think even when I stepped into this role of leadership four years ago, I mean, there was so much I didn't know. And you really, it's like learning by experience. That's why universities have now implemented, even high schools and junior highs, experiential learning. As you're learning, as you grow and you fall down, and you keep falling forward. And you're going to make mistakes and you're going to get called on the carpet and all those things, you have to take those all as opportunities to keep growing and learning from. And I love Emily P Freeman's, The Next Right Thing. You just have to ask yourself what's the next right thing? And you take the information you have, and you make the next right decision. And that's all you can do, and that's all you can expect of yourself. But you have to keep putting yourself... It's like the quote, keep putting yourself in the arena and you're going to get trampled on probably, occasionally.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Those are the best learnings. How do I not let this happen again?

Stephanie Amick: They're not fun in the moment.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: But they're a necessary part of the whole deal. It reminds me of this when Auburn, my daughter was, I don't know, seven, eight years old, and she was going to play soccer for the first time. And she was so excited because her and her friends were going to be doing this. That's really the reason that she's always loved sports or activities, is just the social aspect of it more than the competition. And she couldn't wait to go pick out her new shoes, and the socks, and the guards, and the equipment. And she was so happy. And then we laid down on the couch to watch a movie and she got really quiet, and I just thought she was watching the movie. And then all of a sudden she starts crying. And I said, " Babe, what's wrong?" And she was like, " I don't know how to play soccer." And she was mortified to go show up to do something that she didn't know how to do. And that's a metaphor for life every single day. As a leader, as an employee, there's something that's going to happen likely that you've not done before, a person you've not had to address before something. It's something, we're navigating the newness of growth every day.

Stephanie Amick: Yes, absolutely.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And you and I have talked about that. Because your role has evolved, and grown, and built off of previous experiences. Like our growth often does. But when you became the leader of Agape, there was a whole different set of people, and stakeholders, and challenges. I mean, you didn't know that... You probably didn't grow up thinking, I really need to know something about cleaning horse stalls as a part of my leadership journey. That probably wasn't on your bingo card when you were 20.

Stephanie Amick: No, no. Yeah. And then to think too, that on the heels of finishing my first year in a leadership role, that we would go into a global pandemic and have to make really hard decisions that affect people and their families. And I'm still at the place who have trained to build rapport and trust with this team, and now I'm faced with a lot of big decisions. And yeah, you don't always know what you're signing on for. And then you go, oh my gosh, am I the right person for this job? Again, you keep failing forward, you surround yourself with smart people, and you just keep doing the next right thing.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: The next decision, yeah.

Stephanie Amick: The next right thing. And some people are going to question you on that. Some people are going to go, well, I don't think you should have done that. Or, you didn't do it the right way. Or, you didn't handle the communication. It's like, well, nobody has ever experienced this before. So there has definitely been a lot of growing over the last several years in this role, which I think has prepared me for where this organization needs to go next. And had I maybe not gone through all that, who knows? So I definitely believe God's timing is always perfect. And we were close into launching into a whole capital quite campaign three years ago, and then the world shut down. And we had to go, okay, we'll put that on the shelf for a minute and then see what we need to do next.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Which is why the Rise and Thrive experience is rooted in trusting yourself, knowing yourself, navigating uncertainty. It's not a plug and play leadership template, it's a framework to understand how to navigate the uncertainty of every single day and of those big decisions, but to do it with the awareness that you already have everything you need to make the next best decision. And to learn to trust that. To learn to navigate the mind- body connection of your nervous system to know what's going to make those decisions easier, and what's going to make it harder. It really is fundamentally about knowing yourself, and then applying that in really strategic ways.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah. And I think the tools... I would say that one of the key takeaways for me and the experience is the whole business is control, optimize, and measure. But business is also human, and people want value, relevance, and impact in their life. And you have to have both in a business and an organization, whether you're a nonprofit like us or not. Because you can get the director of finance, who is all about the control, optimize, and measure, and then might lose sight of the fact that we are human too. And people need to feel valued, and need to feel they're contributing and have relevance. And it's okay to allow a policy that's like a flexible PTO plan, right? Because we're here to help people understand, yes, we have to get your work done, but we also want you to have a work- life balance. And to be able to take the day off to go on the field trip with your kids.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: We just talked before we hit record, we're recording this the week before you go on spring break, and much of the surrounding area is going either on spring break now, or about to embark on that. And the whole, should I check in on my vacation? What do I put on my out- of- office? I've had a lot of conversations this week about, what are the expectations. And as leaders, if we continue to check in on vacation, we're setting the expectation for others, that that's expected If you want to be a leader. And we have to stop doing that.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah. And for me on top of that, I would also say, and I want my staff to feel like they're entrusted and empowered to be really successful while I step away for a week. They don't need me to check in. I can trust that if the barn's on fire, yes, they'll call me. But if it's not, it can wait until I get back. And they know they have permission to do what they need to do to get their job done, and they don't need me to be checking in with them on it.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I just had that conversation with a client just before this and helped her recraft her out- of- office message, and her message to her direct reports. Her previous message was going to be, " I'll probably be on email first thing in the morning before the kids get up. And if you need me, check in between seven and nine." Which was what she's always done in the past. And I explained to her that if she checks in every day, she never really connects with her kids. And her nervous system doesn't really get a chance to reset because she's still problem- solving, and engaging in work challenges and problems. And I said, well, what if instead you... Of course she checked in the Friday before she's leaving. We went through each of her direct reports like, what do you anticipate could happen next week? And so she already had a plan, a contingency plan. Everybody knew who to call if something did come up. And she said the same thing you just said. She said, " I trust them." She said, " I just need to put on the message, it feels so good to go on vacation knowing that I have such a great team that can handle anything that comes up." And then she said, " I am going to say we're working as an organization to try to make some shifts, that we don't feel like we need to check in as much." I said, " Make it a leadership learning opportunity, and a lesson. And I trust you, and affirm them." And by the time we hung up, she had gone from when we first logged on, feeling that week- before- vacation angst, to kind of excited about stepping out in a way that she was setting the expectation that things were shifting, and things were changing. And that felt so good to see that shift in her.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah, and I mean, our kids need to see us putting the phone aside. And not checking email in the evenings, or before bed, or while we're on vacation and opening the laptop. That, those aren't the memories I want to create. And we live in an age and a society where we're so addicted to our electronics and screen time that being forced to put all that away for a week of vacation is so much of what we need more of, probably.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. We unintentionally say to our family, " I don't value you enough to completely check out of work." And that's not what we mean. Because in some ways, especially in the past, it was this badge of honor. I work hard, it's an important job and you need to respect and honor mom and dad's dedication to their work. And I just think we've taken that whole thing way too far. But that's not really what we came here to talk about today. But I think it's an important part of leadership. You never know where this show's going to go. Another thing I love about it. So back to one of the things you said about the difference between what you expected and what you got, that you mentioned for Rise and Thrive, was this deep self- awareness of your unique gifts and talents. And how that not only helps us align our role as a leader to that, but how it helps you lead others by knowing them in that way. What would you share about that experience, and how that's helping you?

Stephanie Amick: I would say it's more so helping me as a leader... When I think about succession planning of other positions, when I think about when people have chosen to move on, or they've moved out of town and left a role here in our organization where we can go, okay, what are the unique gifts and talents that we need to fill this role? And not just fill it with a body that has the diploma, and the education, and the experience. But that also has the personality, and the characteristics, and the values that we are looking for that we know will help them be successful. So we've had people in positions where we've put them into a position and maybe six or nine months later you do know, you get that gut feeling. And you and I have talked about that where it's like, this isn't working out for a variety of reasons. And it mostly boils down to not that they don't have the experience, but it isn't their unique gifts and talents that really match up with the role. And so I think all of that has helped me from just a HR hiring standpoint. And a performance evaluation of having those courageous conversations with employees to say, here's what I see you're really good at. This is where you excel. And this role requires somebody that's very detail- oriented, and likes to be organized, and likes to think about logistics or whatever. And that's just not how your brain works, and that's okay. And It's also just helped me really get crystal clear on what I'm good at, and what value I bring to the organization. And how when I'm doing those things that are in align with my unique gifts and talents, A, that's when I find the most joy in my role. For me, that's fundraising, that's building relationships, asking people to contribute to the mission and the impact that we have here. And it's things that are not insurance, and risk management, and really digging deep into a balance sheet. So just being able to give us all those things to align my work, and my role and responsibilities, and then delegate, divvy up other roles and responsibilities to people that are better at those other things.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Absolutely. Absolutely. I just had the opportunity to bring somebody on to do a project for me to help vet some technology for a new platform that we're going to be using in the Thousand Thriving Women community. And to work with somebody that has a completely different set of gifts and talents, that when you can come together and solve real business problems because of how different you are, is so cool. And one of the things though that always surprises people is, when you start to affirm somebody in their gifts and talents and just say, I'm so grateful that you've got this talent and this is really helpful to me and the organization, is they're kind of dismissive about it. Oh, it's no big deal. Well, it's no big deal to you because it's what you're really good at. To me, it's a huge deal. Because it's not at all what I'm good at, it's not what I want to do, but I need it done for the organization. And that's where you get that opportunity to feel so good about the value, relevance, and impact that you bring because of your differences. And to really understand, it is a big deal. It's a super big deal.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah, it's a big deal too. Because then when you have those people aligned in the right roles, then it's a weight off of your shoulders because they've got this. You don't have to worry about it, you don't have to even consider micromanaging the situation. And you can just fully entrust them. To allow them to be creative, allow them to think through how they want to problem- solve things. And it is such a beautiful thing when you find people that compliment you and what you need as an organization.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And I think that's also a place, from a leadership perspective, that we need to be really intentional about affirming them that it's a big deal. Because if I wouldn't have said that to this person, also named Rebecca, I have two Rebecca's working on this project. If I wouldn't have said to her, " Oh my gosh, I am so grateful about your skills in this area, and the work that you're doing in the way that this is happening." She would've stayed in that, it's no big deal, and not felt confident to do the things that you're talking about, to be creative and be bolder with her decision making. In fact, in some situations and organizations, because as leaders we aren't affirming people's unique gifts and talents enough, they look around the organization at people that are successful and they think instead of being more of themselves, they need to change to be more like somebody else. And it's up to us as leaders to really affirm people's greatness. And not achievements, but affirm their gifts and talents so they feel confident to be bolder in the ways that you've described. That's our role as a leader, is to do that.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah. And the other thing I will add that as you were talking, that I will say about the whole Rise and Thrive experience that has been something I didn't know I needed, was kind of the executive coaching sessions I'll call them, that I get to have with you. Because I grew up as an athlete, always had a coach that's giving you guidance, and direction, and helping you get better at your sport. And gosh, we need that. I mean, whether you hire a personal trainer, or a nutritionist, or you have a therapist or you have a business coach, in this situation, the Rise and Thrive of experience I think affords you to have that on top of everything. And those one- on- one coaching calls where you're like, I don't know if I have anything to really talk about. And then we get to talking and you're helping me problem solve this thing that, it wasn't really a problem, but it was just nice to have somebody with your experience and your background. And I'm not just saying that to blow sunshine up your skirt, but I really, it has been really valuable to have somebody that you can bounce ideas off, and you can do a whiteboard session, and really think through a variety of topics. And how to have hard conversations with people that you know need to have a hard conversation with. And I think that is really important. Whether you do that for a season of your life, or you have somebody every month for the rest of your life that you meet with when you're leading a business. I think having coaches, or a business mentor, whatever you want to call it, is really, really helpful. And definitely worth the investment.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I received that as a compliment. Thank you. And I've said all along, I've wrote about it in the book, that we need people outside of our company. A community coach, not just inside our company. Because we can really isolate ourselves, especially in a large company where you don't even interact with the outside world enough. And that was my situation many years ago. And you start to have your own internal language and thoughts. And when you have people like your Rise and Thrive community, and me as a coach that have outside perspectives, it's nice to learn new things and think about things in a different way. So I'm a huge fan of going outside of the company for some stuff. One of the things that we're planning to do, and I highly encourage others to do, is the whiteboard sessions about the way the company, where's the company going? Whose unique gifts and talents are really valuable, relevant, and impactful in what ways? And not just always replacing a role with the same role, but looking at where's the organization going, and what are we going to need next? And how can we look at the skills and the talents of the people that we already have? And then what gaps does that leave? And assessing every opportunity to level up the organization in that way is more valuable than just the org chart somebody left. Replace the same role.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah. And I would say, in my four years in the role now, we've had to ask some of those questions. Do we continue to outsource this kind of service? Do we bring it in- house? Do we hire somebody? Can we find the right person for somebody to come on staff in a salaried position, or does it make more sense to contract this service out? And are those just constantly looking at, like you said, what are the gaps? Where can we continue to improve, and get better, and find the right people to come alongside of us and help us do that?

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah. You are in the middle of some big growth. Let's talk a little bit about that. You've got a big capital campaign because you've got big changes.

Stephanie Amick: Yeah. We are at such an exciting juncture of being able to serve more people in central Indiana. A capital campaign is usually 99% about building a new facility, which is what this entails. But at the heart of it, it is serving more people, both children and adults with disabilities and mental health challenges. And growing our services, which means scaling up the amount of horses we have, the amount of staff we have, and then the amount of volunteers it takes in order to run a nonprofit like ours. So I mean, between our two locations in central Indiana, we rely on over 200 volunteers a week. And so whether you're a high school student, or you're an empty nester, or you're retired or somewhere in the middle there's a place for everybody. And you don't even have to have horse experience to do it. But Agape is a little over 35 years old now, and we figure we've probably served over 50, 000 people during that time. But what I'm most excited about is, again, the hundred people that sit on our waiting list currently waiting to be served. And it breaks my heart that some people wait for over a year and longer to find a spot for their child to be able to get therapeutic riding, or equine- assisted learning, and really find hope and healing. So it is an exciting... And I have to constantly remind myself in a fundraising capital campaign that millions of dollars that it is a marathon, not a sprint. But the faster people can help invest in this project, the quicker it'll get done. And the more people that can be served sooner rather than later is so important.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I'm excited for what's next for you. And the location that you are building on is really well known in the Hamilton County, Noblesville community here in Indiana. Say a little bit about that.

Stephanie Amick: So we are going to be occupying the old Stony Creek Farm off of State Road 38, just north of Noblesville, all 47 acres of it. And being able to utilize that, and expand, and it being more accessible and a visible location for people to get to. And to be able to serve more people, not just in Hamilton County, but in Marion County and Madison County and surrounding community. So it's a beloved, iconic piece of people going and buying pumpkins out of the pumpkin patch, or cutting down a Christmas tree. And I don't even know exactly all the history behind it, but we intend to keep the pumpkin carriage that everybody can still see as they drive down State Road 38 somewhere on the property, as just to pay kind of homage to.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Yeah.

Stephanie Amick: inaudible, that was started years and years ago. But yeah, I feel blessed that I get to kind of continue to be a steward of this organization, and its mission. And really the founder's heart for serving people is just, it's a beautiful and heartbreaking story of how Agape even came about. And so just to be able to continue to move it forward, and for Agape to continue to remain in the top 3% across the country in therapeutic writing center, is based on the size of the organization we are and the number of people that we serve. I mean, we're really one of the top 25 therapeutic riding centers, and we want to remain a gold standard in the industry.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Well, I have no doubt that's your expectations for it as a leader, knowing you like I do. So they're lucky to have you. Not lucky, they're in good hands with your leadership.

Stephanie Amick: Thank you.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So as our audience is about to hear the talk that you gave on International Women's Day on March 8th, as a part of our Stand Tall in Your Story Experience, what kind of just setup would you like to give for the talk that you gave that night?

Stephanie Amick: Well, gosh. I mean, there were so many different directions to go with the talk, and stories to tell or not tell, or themes to include. And I think at the heart of it all, what I've learned more over the last few years, and particularly through the experience the last seven months, is really encapsulated in my talk of letting go, stopping the people- pleasing and the caring too much about what other people think of me. And knowing, again, just that standing tall in your story and who you are, and being unapologetic about your values and how you and yourself and your family and the kind of business that you run. And I think you're going to always have haters or whatever you want to call it. But when you look back through your life, I think the thing that I love just about my story is how all of it kind of comes full circle. And even in this role that I'm in at Agape, I owned horses at a younger point in my younger adult life. And I never thought after a decade of horses not being a part of my world, that was like, there was a purpose behind that. And there was a purpose behind me being on the Olympic team, and what that meant, and the memories that it created. And gosh, it's just, yeah. It's fun for everything, to see how all the dots are connected. So every choice that we make in life sets us on the journey to what's next.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Hundred percent. I would've never thought that studying attention deficit disorder for my son would lead to some of the key fundamentals of my coaching business about honoring everyone's uniqueness, and how that plays out. You're are right. I mean, our favorite way to describe that is, Lord's working it all together for our good. We just don't always know it at the time.

Stephanie Amick: Yes, absolutely. For sure.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Well, I can't wait for them to hear your story, so here we go.

Stephanie Amick: I've competed on the world's largest athletic stage at the Olympics, in Athens, Greece, and I've even shot an arrow at Betty White on the stage of the Jay Leno show. But this stage here tonight might be a little bit harder than either of those. In my early twenties, I stood in my front yard at 77 yards away, shooting thousands of arrows. In the beginning, pulling the string back, smacking my arm. And if you've ever done that, you know how bad that hurts. Shooting arrows that sailed off into the dirt, missing the target altogether, and psyching myself out against the competition before I even stepped to the shooting line. And this is where my story began. I basically became Katniss Everdeen. A fire was lit. No, not the kind where my dress is on fire and I'm riding behind a chariot, but the kind that says and asks, what's next? So I competed on a national level for three years, and then I almost gave up for good. I had some loved ones talk some sense into me. Or rather, I had a dad who said, " If you quit now, you're going to regret it later." So the people pleaser in me said, okay, sure, fine. I'll give it one more a year. Because I spent a lot of my younger adult life trying to please my dad and make him happy. Side note, he is in heaven now. I know he is here with me tonight and very proud and happy with me. So I did it for him, but I did it for me too. Because I didn't want to look back and say, what if? So I competed for another year, leading up to stepping on the field at the Olympic trials as the complete underdog. Barely ranked in the top 20. And after five days of competition I finished second, claiming my spot on the three- person Women's Olympic Archery Team. This is when a new level of tension kind of began. I thought, oh my gosh, I'm an Olympian now. I've got to do something different, I got to perform at a higher level. And if you've ever shot archery, and even if you haven't I'm going to give you a little archery 101. You hold the bow in one hand, you pull the string back with the other hand, and the only way to get the arrow to the target is to let go. Sounds pretty simple, right? Well, if you hold the bow and you grip it too tight in this hand, or you grip the string too tight in your other hand, that extra tension will send your arrow sailing off in a direction that doesn't reach the bullseye. So the letting go part of the string takes a lot of practice. And to top it off, when you've got the bow and the arrow pulled back at full draw and you get to holding it, and holding it, and you're aiming and you're aiming, and all of a sudden that bow, and the string, and the weight of the bow kind of feels like you're holding the weight of the world. And that is called target panic. A fear of letting go. And I know that panic and angst a little all too well, because I had some of that about speaking here on stage tonight. Not because I have a fear of public speaking, but because I wasn't sure what story to tell, or what the theme should be. I even got to saying, I'm just going to talk about faith and prayer and Jesus, because those are all things really important to me and easier. Easier than having to talk about myself or what's on my heart and mind. But this is called stand tall in your story for a reason. It's not called bite your tongue, keep your mouth shut, don't say something that might offend a family member in the audience or not be your authentic self. So when I started this experience, I quickly realized this might be a little bit harder than watching my competition air on national TV. But when I signed up, I knew I would have fun. I would meet some other awesome business women. We would learn some skills around self- awareness, and leadership, and how to run a business. All of which have been true. And bonus, all of the women speaking here on stage tonight, we are all working moms. And we all know how hard the mom guilt tension can be. I don't have time to tell that story. So you see through these coaching conversations, participating in my church's 21 days of prayer and fasting at the beginning of this year, shout out to Heartland, I was quickly reminded of a thing called the Daily Stillness Practice. And I love that it's called a practice, because as an athlete, I'm pretty good at that. I know what practicing can means. It means doing it day after day, getting more consistent, better. And it also means it's not something you can control or master. And so this daily stillness practice has been part of my, there's been parts of that of my life throughout the years. And maybe not so consistent, but what it means is getting still in the morning. And having a time to breathe, to pray, journal, read, reflect, record gratitude. Ask yourself, how do you want to show up today? How do you want to serve? How do you want to feel? And I love that it's a time to take a detox from the busyness, and the never ending to- do list, and the addiction to productivity that we all have. Or at least I have. You see, I am really good at climbing the mountain, setting goals and achieving. And I can even get pretty gritty and persevere through the challenges and the valleys. But what I'm not good at is letting go. I'm a recovering people pleaser, someone who has cared way too much about other people's opinions of me, and a stuffer of emotions until they erupt like a volcano. But what I do know is that on this journey called life, there are going to be plenty of ups and downs, much like my weight loss journey. And the crazy thing about all of this is, I even have a tattoo to remind me of these things. Shout out to my tattoo artist in the room. And This tattoo is of a mountain scape and an arrow. To remind me to look forward, to let go. To have faith as small as a mustard seed. I can move mountains and anything is possible. And you know what you have to do in order to see this tattoo? I literally have to turn my hands over in the posture of surrender because the tattoo is here on my wrist. And somewhere along the lines, I don't know, six or seven years ago when I got this, I have forgotten what it meant. Why I got it where I got it. Because every day I need the reminder to lay at the feet of Jesus, everything, every person that I love, everything that I'm responsible for, and surrender. Because it's not in my control. So here's what I know now. First of all, I don't have it all figured out. Shocker. I mean, who really does? But I know what I'm aiming at, and that is freedom. And I don't have target panic about it because I'm finding my voice. And I'm finding freedom from my past hurts and hangups, and I'm finding freedom to stand up for those I love, and freedom to have hard conversations, and freedom to let go. Thank you.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Thanks

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: for listening to this episode. I would love it if you would leave a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts, and then go to wethrive. live. First thing you'll see is a place to drop your email. And join the movement, I'll send you tools that you can use to thrive in life and business.

Cameron Hession: (singing)

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Hey y'all. Fun fact. Did you like the music for the podcast? That is actually my son, Cameron Hession. And I would love it if you would go to Spotify and iTunes and follow him and download some of his other music. My personal favorite is TV Land.