The Best Investment You Can Make Is the Investment in Yourself

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This is a podcast episode titled, The Best Investment You Can Make Is the Investment in Yourself. The summary for this episode is: <p><strong><em>“Stop&nbsp;viewing&nbsp;things&nbsp;as&nbsp;coincidences.&nbsp;If you put&nbsp;in&nbsp;the&nbsp;work and are&nbsp;ready&nbsp;for&nbsp;good&nbsp;things, you will attract them, and they will&nbsp;come&nbsp;to&nbsp;you.”</em></strong></p><p><br></p><p>In this episode,&nbsp;<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@cararenee7" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Cara Renee</a>&nbsp;joins us to discuss the importance of leading with curiosity, being vulnerable, and building communities on social platforms. Cara shares her personal journey of finding gratitude, building good habits, and leaving behind a stressful career to pursue affiliate marketing full-time. Listen in to learn how to prioritize self-acceptance, embrace your unique strengths, and use social media to create meaningful connections in both personal and professional spheres.</p><p><br></p><p><strong>In this episode, you’ll learn:</strong></p><ol><li>Explore new things, try different hobbies, and be curious about what the world offers to help you flourish in life and business</li><li>Instead of trying to be perfect, value your differences and others to create a more beautiful, strong community</li><li>Don't let fear hold you back from pursuing your dreams</li></ol><p><br></p><p><strong>Things to listen for:&nbsp;</strong></p><ul><li>[06:30] How Cara understood where she was meant to be</li><li>[16:56] The power of being authentic on social media</li><li>[27:10] Leaving excuses behind and taking action</li><li>[30:36] Understanding that business requires persistence</li><li>[38:15] The benefits of habit stacking</li></ul><p><br></p><p><strong>Resources:</strong></p><p>Learn more about&nbsp;<a href="https://www.rebeccafleetwoodhession.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Rebecca and her work</a></p><p>Get your copy of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.rebeccafleetwoodhession.com/1-click-sales-funnel-book-purchase" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Write Your Own Story</a></p><p>Listen to Rebecca's Audiobook&nbsp;<a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/Write-Your-OWN-Story-Audiobook/B0BPDXMSBG" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Write Your Own Story</a></p><p>Take the&nbsp;<a href="https://badasswomenscouncil.com/are-you-badass/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Badass Quiz</a></p><p><br></p><p><strong>Connect with Rebecca:</strong></p><p><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccafleetwoodhession/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccafleetwoodhession/</a></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/rebeccafleetwoodhession/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/rebeccafleetwoodhession/</a></p><p><a href="https://www.facebook.com/fleetwoodhession/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/fleetwoodhession/</a></p><p><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccafleetwoodhession" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccafleetwoodhession</a></p>
How Cara understood where she was meant to be
01:26 MIN
The power of being authentic on social media
02:18 MIN
Leaving excuses behind and taking action
01:08 MIN
Understanding that business requires persistence
01:31 MIN
The benefits of habit stacking
01:18 MIN

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: This is Write Your Own Story, Three Keys to Rise and Thrive in Life and Business. I'm your host, Rebecca Fleetwood Hession. Hello, loves. At the time of this recording, we're just coming off of Memorial Day weekend, which signifies the start of a new season. We're rolling into summer. And I love the change of seasons, because it is a reminder to me that life isn't supposed to be this one constant controlled sequence. It has different dynamics, and depending on where you live, different weather. Things can be different. And I also love connecting seasons to nature and the whole idea that we can create the life that we want, but we have to create the conditions to harvest the life that we want. What seeds are we sowing? Are we providing nutrition and hydration? And just like maybe when you planted your flowers or your garden these last couple of weeks, the amount of intention that you put into selecting what you wanted to grow, well, we're the same, you all. And this summer season can be an interesting one, especially for working parents, because it's a time of transition. But I want to remind you today that we do create the conditions for the life that we want. And part of that is deciding, " What life do I want?" Because we can be in this just treadmill of tasks and calendar appointments and activities, that we're moving fast, but we're not necessarily going anywhere. We're not going where we want to go. So maybe this is the season that you get off the treadmill and decide where you want to go. And so today's guest, Cara and I talk about her exploring and being curious and trying things and moving to new places. And I have been watching Cara over the last few years literally light up from the inside. This woman just looks happier. And as I've watched that, I was like, " What is she doing?" And then when you start listening to her messages and paying attention to the things that she's focused on, she's being curious. She's exploring her life, exploring what's for her. And we have the ability to do that at any stage of life. And so before you dismiss Cara's message, because she's fairly young, because age is a relative discussion, single, no kids. So you may be married with a ton of kids that are screaming in the background thinking, " Oh yeah, that's fine for her." But no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that today. I want you to listen to Cara's message through the lens of what could apply for you. Because no matter what stage of life that we're in, we have the ability to create the conditions for the life we want, but we have to decide a little more about what we do want. We're always quick to just talk about what we don't want, what we don't like. That negativity bias runs deep in our patterns. But I want you to open your heart and your eyes and your mind today and say, " What out of this message is for me?" Okay, here we go. So I reached out to you, I met you at an event many years ago and have continued to follow you on social media, and I just have been really inspired by your story and watching things play out. And it immediately reminded me of Courtney Warren in our very first Stand, Tell Them Your Story event. She told a story about the key to her success or her career had been that she had always led with curiosity and just, " Hey, I might try that," or, " I wonder about this." And she did it a generation or two ago as her career was starting within company confines of this role or this company or this industry. And what we're seeing now, which I love, is you can let your curiosity lead you as an individual. You don't have to do it by being connected to a specific company or a specific industry or a specific role. And you have just been rolling with opportunities as they come to you. And I tell you, girl, you are just beaming and flourishing, and you legit feel and look different over these last few years as I've just watched you just light up.

Cara: Well, thank you for saying that. I have goosebumps right now because it is so true. And I feel like one thing I started doing recently, the past maybe six, eight months especially, is to stop viewing things as coincidences. I'm like, " Okay, you put in the work. You're ready for this mentally, physically. Good things are going to come to you and you're just going to attract those." And it's not like, " Oh, well I just happened to be lucky and have this opportunity." It's like, " No, these things are supposed to happen to you."

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: That is gold right there. So often we want to deflect even compliments or anything like that, especially as women. So I'm working on that, hoping people understand that. But when I met you, I don't even know, five, six years ago, you had moved to Indiana even though you didn't know anybody here. Let's just start there. What was that about? You just picked up a map and went, " That looks interesting"? How did you get here? How did you get to Indiana?

Cara: So actually, yes. Exactly, that's how it happened. So I was born in a small town in Ohio, but I knew from an early age, actually when I was 12 years old, I was on a school trip in San Diego, California, and that's when I knew. I'm like, " Hey, you've got to get out of your small town. There's so much to see in the world." My parents were really big on vacations and traveling while growing up, so I saw a lot of places. So for college, I went to a small school in Ohio originally, was playing basketball there, blew out my knee again. Typical sob story. And then after that, I just decided to go down to Wilmington, North Carolina, just on a whim. Again, didn't really know anybody. I'm like, " Oh yeah, let's go live at the beach. I'm 20 years old. That sounds awesome." So went down there, went to school, ended up staying down there for about seven, eight years and loved it. It was paradise. Just beautiful. But most of my family was in Ohio, and we're really close, my siblings, parents, cousins, and I felt like I was missing out on a lot of events and holidays and all of that. So I was home in 2018 for Thanksgiving, and I remember my cousin telling her daughter, who was maybe three years old, " Hey, this is your cousin Cara." And it just hit me; " My own cousin doesn't know who I am." And that just broke my heart. So I left North Carolina, I quit my job, I sold my house. I was at my friend Jennifer's house, and I was looking at a map on the computer and I was like, " Where do I move?" And Indianapolis just kind of stuck out to me. I was looking at Chicago, Columbus all over, and Indy just pulled me in. I didn't know why at the time. I do now. But yeah, so I just decided to move to Indy and that's kind of how it happened.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I love that. And again, if we go to not seeing things as a coincidence, you felt called, and, " That's where I'm going to go." So why do you now know that Indy was part of the master plan after all? What's been happening in the last five years?

Cara: So I've had eight knee surgeries over the years since 2010. I played volleyball and basketball, a lot of injuries. And for most of my life, I'm like, " I'm an athlete." That's who I was. That was my identity. And then I struggled a lot mentally for about 10 years or so, dealing with that. And even about three years ago now, I was still in a lot of knee pain where it hurt to walk. I would not want to get groceries. I was in so much pain all the time with my knee. And so I was at a place called Recovery Room, cryotherapy, and the owner was like, " Hey, have you heard about this guy, this physical therapist, this place called inaudible?" And I'm like, " I don't need a physical therapist. I've done that a million times." And he is like, " Cara, you have to go see this guy." He's like, " Call him right now," and I'm like, " Fine." So I pick up the phone, call him up, make an appointment, and he has a very non- traditional way of seeing things. And I'm like, " This guy's a little bit crazy. This is not going to work." He gave me some breathing exercises. Within about four weeks, I noticed a huge, huge difference. I started training there. Within a few months I was playing basketball again. So I went from just being absolutely miserable, terrible quality of life, to playing sports again, which just blew my mind. So I remember so many times, just leaving there and just being so full of gratitude. And there were times where I lay in bed at night and my heart was just bursting. I was crying, I couldn't sleep, because that's the first time I really felt what gratitude was. I was experiencing it through that. So I'm like, " That's why I was in Indy, to find inaudible and to totally change my quality of life."

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Oh my gosh, that gives me chills, because when you just see something as being called to it and you don't even really know why, and then the pieces of the puzzles start to come together... We're always being led to the things that we need or desire, but so often we've been told that we're supposed to control everything about our life instead of connect. And that's always the way that I let my life be guided, is connection over control, because we block so many blessings by thinking that we're supposed to be controlling it. And this literally changed your life.

Cara: And I feel like when you're in a good place mentally, you're so much more apt to being aware of things like that. Again, going back to not viewing things as coincidences, I feel like things happen all the time to me now. And then I was like, " They've always been happening. You're just aware of it now." And that really was like, wow, a big moment for me to realize that.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Well, and you mentioned gratitude. So being aware of what's happening to you is one thing, but then allowing yourself to experience the emotion of gratitude, that's a whole different level, because our brains are wired for us to have connection. And when we attach emotion to a situation, you literally log it into your brain as something significant. And so then you start to attract more of those things that you're grateful for that have some emotional connection to it. So a friend of the show and a business partner of mine, Eliza Kingsford, is an actual practicing therapist and all the neuroscience geeky stuff, but she says it really is, the whole good vibes/ bad vibes is real. So you're putting out so much of those good vibes by practicing gratitude that you're bringing more goodness into your life.

Cara: Absolutely. And so for me personally, I'm a Christian, and for a while I think I struggled with the idea of energy, because I'm like, " Is that coming from God?" And went back and forth with that. But now that I'm so in tune with myself, I can sense it like no other, walking into a room or just the people around me. And I feel like I've let my circle get really really small lately, not because someone isn't a good person, but I'm like, " Are they helping me grow? What are our discussions like?" I met with a friend after VeeCon on Friday or Saturday, and we were talking about our business goals and mindset and all these things, and I'm like, " That's what we should be surrounding ourselves with. I don't care if Suzy Q wore this or what so- and- so posted. It's irrelevant." And so I've been really intentional about who I give my time to, because they rub off on you. And it's like you have some friends who are very negative and they're always complaining, and then I start to do that as well. And so I've been, again, very intentional about watching who I'm spending time with.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Well, the saying, many years ago, I can't even remember who it was, I'll have to look it up, but you are the sum of the five people that you spend most of your time with. And I always used to talk to my kids about that. And I'm with you on the... some people would call it energy, the new age. I'm a Jesus- loving Christian girl too, and I never want the Lord to think that I'm skewing any way outside of him. And I also have learned that the energy thing is biblical. It's the Holy Spirit within us. That's what it is. And it is a beautiful thing when you start to know that you're being guided in that way.

Cara: And I think a lot of it comes too from personal development, where I feel like it's so cliche and you think of self- help books back in the day and you're like, " Oh, I only need that if I have issues." And I'm like, " No, every single person benefits from it." So I partnered with a direct sales company, a hair company, gosh, four years ago already, and a lot of the leaders in the company were really into it. And so at first I wasn't really buying into it, and I'm like, "Ah, I don't need that." And then I'm like, " What do you have to lose?" So now, a few years later, I love my podcast, I love journaling, I love taking notes and thinking about things from different perspectives. And I feel like so much of my success now is because I'm committed to that personal development, where I no longer think that I'm above that or I don't need it. And it's not like you do it and you reach a certain point and you're good. It's a constant state where you're always working on yourself.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Because we're always growing in new opportunities, and every time we grow with a new opportunity, we're in a place we've never been before. So we do need development and guidance and help for whatever next level that we're going to. I think the best investment that we could make is the investment in ourselves, because that is the one thing that we have the most influence over how we use that. And so investing time into learning and reading and understanding ourselves will always pay high dividends.

Cara: Absolutely.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: So you got to Indianapolis. Just walk us through some of the steps of the story.

Cara: So I got my real estate license in North Carolina in 2016 and had always worked in new construction. So new home sales, walking through the design, the construction, all of that. And so a natural path was to continue that here. So I started working for a builder here in Indy in January of 2019. I really enjoyed it, but then I had a friend through social media who had his own remodeling company, and I'm like, " That would be interesting, just to get a little different perspective of it and also not work every single Saturday and Sunday." That was my whole entire career, was working every weekend. I was just tired of missing out on things. So I started working for him for a little bit, and then COVID happened and all that craziness. So I got back into after COVID, working for a local home builder, and again, loved it, very passionate about it, but just wasn't on fire for it anymore. And honestly, the biggest thing was the stress that I had. It got to a point about a year and a half ago where I started having a lot of health issues. I wasn't eating, I wasn't sleeping. I'd wake up at 2: 00 AM every single morning and start taking notes, freaking out; " Oh, I forgot to put this change order out." I'd have to fall asleep with TV on because my brain wouldn't shut off. I was having some serious gut issues. And I'm like, " This is not how you're supposed to be living." And so I'd always done some things on the side with social media and affiliate marketing and UGC, but then about a year ago, I was like, " This could be a full- time thing." And I'm like, " Are we really doing this?" And I'm like, " Yeah." That was, gosh, last May, so just about a year ago. And social media, people give it a bad rap, but there are so many beautiful things about it. Honestly, even meeting you is through social media. So our mutual friend, Nikki, she hosted a Pilates class, a free Pilates class. I found her on Instagram when I first moved to Indy and I showed up at this Pilates class with all these people I didn't know. And then her and I ended up getting some food afterwards, started talking, and that's how I got invited to the gala that you and I met at. So yeah, it's all through social media, and there's so many opportunities, and it's all about how you use it. I don't follow celebrities and athletes and people who are going to make me compare myself to them, but there's so many opportunities out there. And so now with affiliate marketing, with inaudible, the hair company, but also UGC, user generated content, and digital guides, and there's so many ways that you can bring in an income, and people are just so scared of it because they don't know any better.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I get really concerned when parents are not understanding that these are real opportunities and real money- making jobs. And their kids are very aware and very interested in this, and they treat it like a lead singer in the rock band idea, like it's a one in a million kind of thing. And sure, there are the Alex Earls of the world who are blowing up like Mick Jagger did back in the day. But there is a real space for people to come in to these opportunities. College isn't for everybody. The trades may not be for you. If you're creative and you have a great story and you want to tell messages and you want to connect with people, it absolutely is a viable career for people. And I think the other thing is that we have to do a much better job as a society of thinking about career in terms of chapters of a story, not, " I have to know exactly what I'm going to do for the next 50 years." And your story is a perfect example of that. "I'm going to modify and change some things and I'm going to try this and see how this goes." And the fact that when you realized that your health was suffering, that you said, " Nope, I'm not willing to sacrifice myself for any career or job," I want to just shout from the rooftops, " That's the way it's supposed to be."

Cara: Yeah. I feel like probably in the past three or four months, I've had a lot of coffee meetings, dates, with different friends who are on this very traditional career path and they start voicing to me their concerns. They're saying, " Hey, I want to start a family soon." Or, " I want this. I don't have any freedom, any flexibility." And I think that just helping people find their passion is so inspiring to me, because I'm like, " This doesn't have to be your life. This doesn't have to be your story." One of my favorite mottos right now is, " You're not too old, and it's not too late." I'm 30 and I feel like I'm finally stepping into who I'm called to be, and it's just the most beautiful thing. And I'm like, " If I would've stuck to the traditional path, none of this would've happened." And it's like you just have to put yourself out there.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I saw a TikTok the other day. She was probably mid- 20s maybe, and she's sitting in her car and she says, " I don't want to boss bitch. I tried it. I want to get married and I want to have babies, and I want to go to TJ Maxx and I want to decorate my front porch and I want to have dinner ready for my husband and I want to take pictures of my baby. And she was just going on and on, and I'm like, " Yeah, do that." Whoever put out this message that there is this one path for everybody that is high school, college, career, that's not the way God intended it or he wouldn't have made us different down to our fingerprints. He made us all different on purpose, for a purpose. And I don't want my daughter or any young woman or young man to think that there's just this cookie- cutter approach to life. That's miserable.

Cara: Yeah. And you bring up TikTok, and I'm glad you did, because I feel like TikTok started out as some silly little kids dancing app years ago. But I think that it's doing such a great job changing the narrative of what your life can look like. And I feel like this is who we were born to be, but also after COVID, we just crave connection. And there's so much opportunity online where it's like, " Hey, that's not just me." And I think it takes being vulnerable to really get to that state. So for example, I have vitiligo, the skin condition where I don't get pigment on certain parts of my skin. And I've had it for probably 15 years or so. It used to be just a tiny little spot next to my eye. It wasn't noticeable at all. And now every single year, it spreads a little bit more, primarily on my hands you can see it, especially when I get a little bit of a suntan. And I used to be so self- conscious about it. A year ago I was still buying body makeup to cover it up every single day. I was so self- conscious about it. And all of a sudden, maybe about two months ago, I just stopped caring, and now I love it. I'm out in the sun, I'm like, " Hey, please get darker so I can see the contrast more." And I love it now. And there's a famous model named Winnie Harlow, you may have heard of her. She has vitiligo all over her skin. And she inspired me, made me feel more confident. And so what can you share about your personal life or yourself that somebody else can see, even a stranger, and be like, " Hey, it's not just me," or, " I can relate to that," or, " They're not perfect." And I'm like, that's what it's all about, just relating to people and knowing you're not alone.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Oh my gosh, TikTok and building that kind of community, 150, 000%. I have a client and a good friend, Brenna Beard, who lives in a small town north of Indianapolis. She grew up in this small town community. She's working for a big company right now, but she's in the ag space. And we were working together in career coaching and she said, " I really want to inspire other farming Midwest young women like me that it's okay to be the small town girl who loves Jesus and lives on the farm, but also likes Alex Earl and all the other things." And she said, " I kind of want to do that." And I said, " Do it," because she had been putting out a few things on TikTok, and like you, she has this great personality. And I said, " Okay, if you're going to do it, do it." And she is having the most fun. And I'm telling you what, her following is growing so fast because she's being herself. And she just went through a breakup and she shared about that. And this Nashville artist just stitched one of her videos because it related to a song that she had just wrote. And she messaged me this morning. She was like, " Oh my gosh." But the point is, when we are ourselves, unapologetically, " Here's my skin condition," " Here's where I live," " Here's what I love," we attract the people we need and that need us. I always talk about the difference between marbles and puzzles. Marbles don't stick together. If you're trying to be perfect and you're buffing out all of your edges and you take a handful of marbles and try to put them together, they all roll away. But puzzle pieces, everybody's different on purpose, man, when you put puzzle pieces together, it's far more beautiful, it's stronger, and every piece of that puzzle matters. And so we've got to be more comfortable just being this unique person that we are, and loud and proud with it.

Cara: Yeah. To seem more authentic. And you brought up Alex Earl a couple times, so funny quick story. I was actually in Miami last week and I'm sitting there at Joan the Juice, just doing my work, and I glance up and she's right there in front of me.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Shut up.

Cara: And I was frozen. I couldn't even grab my phone to sneak a picture. She had a coffee pickup, so she was in and out pretty quick. But I'm sitting there, I'm like, " Did that just happen right now?" But everyone is like, " Oh, Alex Earl, Alex Earl." But why do people like her? There's a million girls just like her on the internet. But it's because she was vulnerable and very authentic. She struggled with really bad acne for a while, and she showed raw, unfiltered pictures of that. And she's like, " Hey, my room's a mess. My life's a mess. I had two hours of sleep. I'm hungover." Whatever it is. And she's just so raw. And I feel like that's the shift between generations too, between Instagram, always you're curated, your picture perfect, but then Gen Z came along and TikTok and they're just saying everything they want to. Probably way too much information sometimes and you're like, " I don't want to hear that." But that's why people gravitate towards people like Alex and some of the other young creators. It's because they're so honest. Society is so sick of everything being so picture perfect these days.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And I'm always saying to leaders that I coach, unless you're willing to share your vulnerabilities and your authentic story, you're going to struggle influencing and leading people in this day and age. I call it the shift from the industrial age model, where everything needed to be controlled and measured and optimized, to the age of humanity, which is messy and everyone's different. And there's this authenticity and vulnerability to it that leaders who aren't willing to make that shift are going to struggle, because people don't want to work for somebody that isn't willing to do that.

Cara: Absolutely. And there's so many directions you can take with that. There's so many things that I have, like my dreams that I have, that I know what I want to do. I just don't really know how to get there yet. And I definitely need to start sharing about it more. I'm a huge Ed Mylett fan. One of my favorite entrepreneurs, podcasts, authors. And one thing that he says all the time is that you are in the best position to help the person that you used to be. You are in the best position to help the person who you used to be. So I go back and think of high school Cara and early college Cara, 20s Cara, and I'm like, " I never really had a good mentor, someone to look up to. I struggled with X, Y, and Z," whether it was mental things or eating disorders, all that kind of stuff. And I just fought through it by myself. So I'm like, " If I can put out content or be a resource or a mentor to people, these young girls who are dealing with it probably tenfold the time that I did when I was younger, that would be the ultimate goal." At the end of the day, I just want to help people and inspire people. So there's so many different avenues you can take with that inspiration and impact as well.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And not thinking that you have to have it all figured out. So because you've been putting yourself out there, you've been attracting these opportunities. So you recently got invited to a really great opportunity in Indianapolis. Tell us about how that whole Gary Vee thing happened.

Cara: Yeah. So I got a random Instagram message from VeeCon, so Gary Vaynerchuk's annual convention, maybe a month and a half ago. And they were like, " Hey Cara, we'd love for you to be a part of the creator team for VeeCon this year. Please send us an email. Blah, blah, blah." And I was like, " Oh my gosh, amazing. I love Gary Vee." And so yeah, we got all set up and everything, and I actually was on a Zoom call with Gary and a few other creators before the event. Got to meet him down there, and we just got to be a part of this creator team. And hearing some of these people's stories, it just got me so fired up. They're doing huge things and they don't take any excuses. We were sitting down having lunch one day, talking to a couple of them, and I'm like, " Okay, here's what I want to do." He's like, "Well, did you do X, Y, and Z?" And I'm like, " Well, no." He's like, " Why not?" And I'm like, " I just haven't yet." And he's like, " Go home and do it today." He's like, " You know what you need to do." And I love reading. I love podcasts. I love getting inspired in that way. At the end of the day, we know what we need to do. We don't need more inspiration, we don't need this. It's sit down, get your computer out and get to work. You're just putting it off. You're never going to be fully inspired, whether it's business wise or going to the gym. You've just got to get your butt up and do it sometimes.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And let go of it being all the way perfectly planned out. I think that's the biggest limitation or hesitation that I see with people, especially those that have been in corporate- like jobs. Or I'm 50... how old am I? 57. inaudible in my age demographic is we were sold this lie that you had to have it figured out, you had to have a plan and then you go execute the plan. And I just got tired of the confines of that. And now my motto is, " Let's just try shit." I don't know if things are always going to work, and sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes they fail miserably, but I always learn from that.

Cara: Exactly.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And we just try stuff. It's so much more fun.

Cara: Yes. The other day I saw a quote on Instagram and it said, " Your addiction to learning is keeping you stuck." And I was like, " Get up. Guilty." Where I feel like I have to have everything put together, whether I'm sending out stuff for my hair clients or whatever it is, UGC. I'm like, " Nobody's going to know if it's perfect, because it's only perfect to you." And it's like, " Just get out of your head and just put it out there." Same with content on social media. I used to have to have the best light and the best angles, and now I'm like, " Let's get on there and talk sometimes." And sometimes I'll stutter, whatever it may be. It's like, " Just put it out there. Just post it. Just post it." That's how you're going to get engagement and connect with people. If you're always scared, you're never going to end up posting anything. And then you're like, " Well, another three months went by. I didn't post anything on TikTok. I didn't meet any people today."

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And so you say, " Oh, it didn't work." Nope, you didn't put it out there. You don't know if it didn't work. And you know the number of people, men and women, that I'll talk to, coaching them or they're considering me as a coach, and almost 100% of them will say, " Well, I'm thinking about going back to school," or, " I'm thinking about getting another degree," or, " I'm thinking about taking another class." And I'm like, " How many more external validation letters behind your name is it going to take for you to feel better inside?" The answer isn't out there. The answer is in here. In you. You have to bring what's in you and put it out in the world. That's the difference.

Cara: And don't get me wrong, education is great. There's a time and place. And my sister's a civil engineer; she had to go to college. There's certain things that it's required, of course. But with the internet these days, you can learn anything you want. Get on YouTube, do some research. For my inaudible business, we're working on a lot of things like providing value, so doing a freebie newsletter type thing. And so the goal with that is obviously provide value, but also get their email address, get it on your email list, start drip marketing. And I have somebody on my team who I'm mentoring, and she's probably late- 40s, I think, and she was never on social media, any of that, and she is killing it right now. She's learning all of these things. And she's like, " It's hard and it's uncomfortable because I'm not familiar with it, but I'm doing it." And she's like, " If I can do it, then anybody can do it." And that's just the message I want to give out. I don't care who you are, what your background is, what your resources are, because we all have the internet. You can make anything possible. And to your point earlier when you said it didn't work, how long were you trying for? I'm in affiliate marketing, and people think it's a get rich quick thing. There is a heck of a lot of money in this business. An insane amount, where sometimes I'm like, " This is too good to be true. Do I deserve this?" But then I know I do. But people do it for a month or six weeks and are like, " Oh yeah, I'm not a millionaire yet. I'm not making six figures yet in a month. I'm going to give up." And I'm like, " It builds on each other." So I've been doing this for four years and that's why I'm seeing what I'm seeing, because I never gave up on it. And people are just so quick to jump to something new if it's not instant gratification.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And because you are putting out love and light and curiosity and all the goodness, you are attracting opportunities like Gary Vee reaching out and saying, " Hey, come to my conference." Which, as you started this conversation, wasn't a coincidence. It was four years of you investing in this as a practice that now, all of a sudden, it makes sense that it's an opportunity that's coming to you.

Cara: Yeah. And it's reaping the rewards. And it's funny, as soon as I left my other corporate job, I remember, there were a couple of trainers at the gym that I go to, and one of them usually works in the afternoon. I didn't see him very often, but we were good buddies, hung out sometimes. And a few weeks later, he happened to be in there one day and he just looked at me and he's like, "You're different." And I'm like, " What do you mean?" And he's like, " You just look happy." And that was the best compliment and just reassured the decisions, that everything happened for a reason. And I'm like, " Okay, this is where I'm supposed to be." When people say that you look happy, that is just the best thing you can possibly hear from somebody.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: And I noticed it too. Like I said, that's one of the main reasons I reached out. I was so excited when I saw the Gary Vee thing, but I thought to myself, " I have loved watching literally your inner light." And sure, people could say, " Oh, well she's got this hair care thing, she's got all the best products. Oh, well she's beautiful. Well, it's no wonder." Listen, I know people that have the best products and all the right things that they're doing with their face and their hair and their body, but their inner light is not shining bright, and it's just not the same. And you, absolutely, I would agree 100% that it's just your happiness factor just keeps growing.

Cara: It does. And then more things happen and you just get happier. And I'm in the middle of Chicago right now, just hanging out for a few days. Yesterday I was working from the pool on a Monday, and everyone's like, " Oh, Mondays suck." And I'm like, " That doesn't have to be your narrative. If you don't like someone about your life, whether it's your career or your body or your health or your mental state, fix it. There are so many things you can do." And to your point earlier, my hair, I used to bleach it, I had extensions. It was really rough.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Oh my gosh, your before and afters when you started pursuing the hair. I was like, " Oh my gosh."

Cara: So yes, my hair used to suck. My skin used to suck. I actually recently finally shared a picture. Alex Earl inspired me. I used to have terrible acne, acne scars. And I posted it on my social media the other day, and I posted it and then put my phone down for an hour. I'm like, "Oh, did I really just do that?" But that's where the growth came too. I used to be very insecure. I wasn't confident at all. And with the hair products that I sell, they're absolutely amazing. And I used to think, " What are the reasons I'm doing this?" And I was at a local business in Indy, and I'd known the owner for a while, and his wife became a client of mine maybe eight months or so ago. And him and I were just chatting about life and he was like, " Hey, by the way, thanks for those products you gave my wife." And I'm like, " What do you mean?" And he's like, " She was so self- conscious about her hair, and now that she loves it again, I have seen her transform not only in her work life, in her home life, in our personal life, in our relationship." And he's like, " Because she's confident now with her appearance, that's totally transformed her day to day living." And I started tearing up, and I'm like, " Okay, Cara, that's why you do it. It's not vain to love your hair, love your skin again. It's an avenue that gets you so many other things." So end of the day, hearing those stories, that's what keeps me going.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I love that. And that is changing people's lives.

Cara: Yeah. Your hair, your health and things like that. And I eat very healthy, I work out, I'm very active and stuff, and that makes such a huge difference in your confidence. The whole look good, feel good is so true.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: My corporate clients too, when you're miserable, the first thing I say is, " Okay, how are you doing at taking care of you?" And there's lots of excuses and this and that, and then we just have to peel it back, because we were sold this message that that was selfish, that we were supposed to take care of everybody else and our jobs came first. And then you're tired and you're sick and you're miserable and your confidence is waning, and I'm like, " Okay, we've got to flip the script on this. Until you start taking care of you, another promotion is not going to make you feel better."

Cara: Exactly. One thing that Gary said on I think it was Saturday, he said, " Everything is very black and white. You make things up in your head." And he's like, " You aren't building crap until you're good." He's like, " Until you are mentally good, until you are physically good, nothing bigger is going to happen. You're going to be stagnant where you are. You have to focus on yourself first and then things are going to take off." And I'm like, " Yes, amen to that."

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: It's true. When I started this business seven years ago, I spent an entire year sitting on my back patio during the summer months, and in my kitchen during the winter months, in the morning, first thing, prayer, journal, meditation, getting my mind right, healing my heart, letting go of old wounds and hurts. And in the moment, it felt really like I wasn't doing anything. I was supposed to be building a business, I should have been busy, I should have been stressed out, like I used to be.

Cara: You should have been grinding, yeah.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Grinding and striving. And this is honestly where the striving versus thriving came from in my business. And over time, I just saw the benefits, and I saw the benefits like you. And it's to the point now where I don't set appointments before 10 o'clock on my calendar unless I'm traveling for a keynote or something like that. But the majority of days, I still spend self- time, stillness, prayer, journaling, because when I take care of me, everything else seems to work out a whole lot better.

Cara: Yes. I love that you mentioned that, because I'm the same way, where my mornings are for me. So this morning, I woke up, I got a coffee, I walked for an hour around Chicago, I had a podcast in, and just getting yourself mentally prepared for the day is huge. Whereas with my old job, I woke up in chaos all the time. I had so many unread emails, and I'd wake up and I'm stressed out first thing in the morning. And I'm like, " That is no way to start your day." So yeah, I feel like how you set up your mornings are so important. I'm sure you probably read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. It's very well known, but I love that there are so many tangible things in it. So for example, he talks about habit stacking. So with all my knee stuff and the physical therapist, I have these resets I have to do every single day. And it's hard to add things into your routine. We're all busy, we all have things going on. And so with the habit stacking, it's like, "Okay, one thing you do every single day in the morning." Okay, I make coffee every single morning, so I'm like, "That's how I'm going to stack it. I'm going to make my coffee and I'm going to do my reset." So every single day when I make my coffee, it's triggered to do my resets. And so I feel like a lot of people, they get so motivated for a split second and they want to add all these things on; "Okay, I'm going to journal, I'm going to meditate, I'm going to do all these things." And they fall off three days later because it's overwhelming. Focus on one thing at a time, because you have to have those habits that are going to stick. And you can never count on motivation to get you where you're going. It's always your habits.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I love that more and more I have clients that instead of just getting on a call or going out for a drink, we'll do walk and talks. It's like, " Hey, did you get a walk in today?" " No." " Well, let's meet at four." I met a client yesterday at four o'clock on the inaudible and we did a walk and talk. And more people are seeing the benefit of stacking those habits together so that you get mutual benefit out of it as well, especially when you're doing it together. I'm excited for you. I know you're off on another adventure. Are you going to do the nomad life for a while?

Cara: That's what I'm thinking. I read this years ago, probably 15 years ago, and it's like, " Think of yourself as a bird. If you don't like where you are, just get up and go somewhere else." I feel like people in the past weeks have told me, " Oh, you're so lucky. I wish I could do that." And I'm like, " You can. Just make your mind up to." So yeah, I have a lot of family and friends all over the country, so I'm just bouncing around right now and visiting and spend time with people and just seeing where it takes me.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: I love that. And let me translate that message. So if there's someone listening that's got kids and a house and a job, they're here, but they're not happy in their life or their job, you can change your job, you can change your life. It doesn't have to be the extreme of getting to live in the nomad life for a while, which I'm also considering in the future as my kids go off and do their own thing. Well, you can leave your job. There's nothing that says that you have to stay in a job that wakes you up at 2: 00 AM and makes you feel miserable or doesn't allow you to take care of yourself. We have the power to make change in our life. So I hope that your story today has inspired some people to think differently about being stuck.

Cara: Well, and a lot of it comes down to fear. And fear is kind of a silly thing when you break it down, because a lot of times you're not scared of something. You're scared of how somebody will react to it. So for me, I probably would've left Indy a couple years ago, but my family and I are very close, my parents are two hours away, and they love having me closer to home. And I was scared to tell them that I wanted to go somewhere else, whether it be Florida or wherever I end up. That was what held me back. I wasn't scared myself of doing it. I was scared of what somebody else was going to think of my decision. And there's some things that carry a little more weight than others. And obviously family's important and there's different reasons for certain things. But when it comes down to fear, a lot of it isn't internal. It's all external. And I think I've just really enjoyed lately talking to people who are also feeling the same way and just want someone to talk to. So if anybody listening right now is like, " Hey, here's what I want to do. I'm stuck." Or anything, feel free to DM me on Instagram or TikTok or LinkedIn or anything. I would love to chat with you guys.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: How can they find you on these various social platforms?

Cara: So my Instagram, I can't change it. I made it forever ago. So my Instagram is Carebearr__. It's C- A- R- E- B- E- A- R- R, with two underscores. And then my TikTok is Cara, C- A- R- A, Renee, R- E- N- E- E, @ 7.

Rebecca Fleetwood Hession: Excellent. Definitely, like I said, if you just want to see a shot of happiness across your screen once in a while, follow her for that reason. Thanks for listening to this episode. I would love it if you would go to Apple Podcast and leave a rating and a review. And then you can go to rebeccafleetwoodhession. com and join the Badass Women's Council. And if you really want to take a deeper dive, join the movement of 1000 Thriving Women. There's amazing thrive tools there for you today. Love you, mean it. Hey you all, fun fact. If you like the music for the podcast, that is actually my son, Cameron Hession. And I would love it if you would go to Spotify and iTunes and follow him and download some of his other music. My personal favorite is TV- Land.

DESCRIPTION

“Stop viewing things as coincidences. If you put in the work and are ready for good things, you will attract them, and they will come to you.”


In this episode, Cara Renee joins us to discuss the importance of leading with curiosity, being vulnerable, and building communities on social platforms. Cara shares her personal journey of finding gratitude, building good habits, and leaving behind a stressful career to pursue affiliate marketing full-time. Listen in to learn how to prioritize self-acceptance, embrace your unique strengths, and use social media to create meaningful connections in both personal and professional spheres.


In this episode, you’ll learn:

  1. Explore new things, try different hobbies, and be curious about what the world offers to help you flourish in life and business
  2. Instead of trying to be perfect, value your differences and others to create a more beautiful, strong community
  3. Don't let fear hold you back from pursuing your dreams


Connect with Rebecca:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccafleetwoodhession/

https://www.instagram.com/rebeccafleetwoodhession/

https://www.facebook.com/fleetwoodhession/

https://www.tiktok.com/@rebeccafleetwoodhession